HARMONY is DESTINY, An Essay: Why I became obsessed with Harmony.

Hello!
My name is Daniel, I am from Germany and I am reading the HP books for years now (and listening to the ingenious german HP audiobooks by Rufus Beck). Well, recently I listened to the entire audiobook to DH on Youtube, after reading the book two years ago...and something made finally "click" and turned me into an obsessive Harry/Hermione Shipper! To be honest, until some days ago, I didn't even know that the H/Hr Ship existed in the internet and in the heads of other people! In my case, I had not thought conscious much about the romantic issues in HP. But during listening to the audiobook of DH...because how Harry and Hermione were dealing with each other, well somehow it really affected me: I mean, this great respect for the personality and the competence of each other, the intuitive understanding that needs no words, the total trust and faith they feel for each other and how well they work together in difficult times...I can't imagine a more solid base for a romantic relationship!

Well, that's not exactly true, in fact their "friendship" is much more deep and strong than any "romantic relationship" I (and anyone else I know) has ever had. Let's face it: Many or maybe most (at least in my surroundings) "romantic relationships" form of cause of superficial reasons: You find s.o. attractive of cause of his/her looks or how he/she is speaking or behaving (for example most women find social dominance attractive in a man) or because s.o. "smells good" for you (unconscious, that means that his/her genetic makeup would mix good with yours and guarantee a healthy offspring) or resembles an attachment figure of your childhood of the other sex (hmmm...resembles Ginny maybe Harry's mother as he remembers her...?).

Well, putting it all together, if you see how quickly people fall in love and also break up with each other without really knowing each other, mostly is has to be superficial from a personal point of view (but maybe reasonable from a genetic or subconscious point of view). Really getting to know each other can be a real killer for such common relationships because then you can no more project the vision in your partner that you would like to see fulfilled by that person (now we know, why Harry seems not so interested in getting Ginny to know better...). Also, mental differences, if they become emotional and heat up, can really become U.R.S.T. ( ) and become resolved temporarily be "coming together" (if you know what I mean).

I've seen that several times in relationships of my friends, incompatible mental/emotional differences converting to sexual fuel so they can go on with their relationships. Is that common? At least in my experience: Yes! Is it healthy: No! And, also, such relationships are simply what they were in their beginning: Superficial and not able to grow deeper! In conclusion: I can understand why JKR did put H/G and R/Hr together...these relationships resemble common relationships as I know them from persons I know and have lived them myself (please don't send me to Azkaban for that, I was young ). I can also understand why a guy with an inferiority complex like Ron (I think Voldemort's soul-part in the Horcrux had a real deep insight in Ron when he was wearing it and the show with evil H/Hr that the Horcrux made was proof enough for that. Because JKR let these things be said by Voldemort/evil H/Hr does not make them a lie at all in my opinion, on the contrary!) would try to get a girlfriend who is superior to him and which he thinks is secretly affected to his superior friend (what Ron says to Hermione before leaving the tent in DH seems to consolitate that Ron is feeling and thinking so). Yeah, winning Hermione as girlfiend was therapy against his complexes for Ron, he had to prove something to himself. I would even go so far that the whole show he was enacting before leaving the tent was thought to lead to a breakup between Hermione and Harry (he said himself that he was considering Hermione to go with him and to leave Harry alone...TO DIE, if you think it to an end!), a rather malicious action because he never had the self-confidence and courage to fight openly for Hermione's favor nor he had even the guts to say openly to s.o. that he wanted Hermione to become his girlfriend!

Excuse me, I'm getting emotional and a little bit off topic, but that was the scene in the audiobook when I got really, really angry on Ron and was jumping up from my couch (when I did read the book first 2007, I did not get it what was really going on)! And why did he really return to the two? Because his "clever" show did not lead to the expected success but bringing H/Hr even closer together with the extreme experiences they shared together and that was exactly what he feared the most! Excuse me for being so negative concerning Ron, but most people don't think Ron's actions there really through to the end because they consider him being the nice guy! Well, think again!

Anyway, to get back to topic, I think that superficial romantic relationships like JKR portrays R/Hr and H/G are common, ordinary and known and that along with the strange unwillingness of JKR to "not let the hero get the heroine" did lead to the fact that H/Hr did not happen in canon. But wait a minute, Harry and Hermione are in fact no ordinary people, the development of their personalities is above average and very strong and both are independant thinkers and their bond is so incredibly deep ans strong... So, if they would be real, I am absolutely sure that in the end, they would find together and would stay forever together and their relationship would never stagnate but grow deeper and deeper .

They were young and unexperienced in relationships at the end of DH and I really believe that it's possible that at that time they could have been engaged in their well-known superficial relationships as they did in canon (as cause of the superficiel reasons I described above) and so I am not angry with JKR about DH....aside with the Crapilogue of the book, because there is NO CHANCE IN HELL, that R/Hr and H/G would have lasted 19 years!!! At the latest with 30 or in their mid-30s, Harry and Hermione would be matured enough to realize what they really mean to each other and what immense potentiel for deep happiness a fulfilling and never ending love they both would have together. They would break up with Ron and Ginny and would finally get together, I have no doubt about that ! I don't think that having children would stop the inevitable, but it could be possible that Ron would try to use them (the children) in his despair to hold Hermione and not falling back into his inferiority complex ! So be sure, dear fellow Harmonians, that Harry and Hermione would and will find together and that H/Hr will happen in the end (if there is a real HPverse somewhere) and that they will live happy ever after !

Guys and gals like me, who are over 30 (and also younger persons, if their personalities have matured faster than mine ), which had their experiences with relationships that were based on superficiel and unconscious reasons like H/G and R/Hr will maybe feel that this is not enough and feel a hunger for more and maybe not exactly knowing for what and then will find the surprising answer in and even more between the lines that describe the relationship of Harry and Hermione: As I said above, this great respect for the personality and the competence of each other, the intuitive understanding that needs no words, the total trust and faith they feel for each other and how well they work together in difficult times and this potential of their relationship to develop deeper and deeper and deeper, that lets grow their two souls closer and closer together...well, I had really to swallow hard when I realized for the first time recently that here is that kind of relationship described which I would like to live for myself now!
In fact, it does not really matter if Harry and Hermione find together as a "romantic pairing" or not because already in canon what Harry and Hermione share is so much much more than H/G and R/Hr are in canon (or will ever be).

I am really grateful to JKR that she outlines this wonderful possibility how deep a relationship between persons, which are together on one high level of character development, can really be...so that persons who are susceptible for it because they are searching for a similar kind of relationship (but not knowing it consciously) can have that great moment of insight and understanding finally about what they really want and then search in consciously, that is what happened to me recently! I am not Harry Potter and I won't find Hermine Granger but I'd like to find someone who is with me on one level like H/Hr are and with who I could create and grow a relationship that can become so profound on so many areas like the one of our two heroes!

And last but not least, I am really sorry for JKR, because she was not able to understand what glory she has really created with and between Harry Potter and Hermione Granger and did therefore their relationship not lead to the end that was meant to be...and DESTINY!

Yours,
Donni

This was so dead on right I found myself saying "Hell Yeah!" LOL

I couldn't agree with you more and it is absolutely true. The real romance I believe is between Harry and Hermione. Whether JK realizes it or not the relationship between them are unmistakable and so much deeper than what H/G or R/Hr had with each other and I'll believe that till I die. Your little essay here makes me want to re read the series again and I haven't wanted to do that in a long time. So thankyou.

Hello Manda , thank you for your ardent comment and your accordance

WOW
KEEP THE FIRE BURNING

Great essay, Daniel GI

I was following HP series by the movies and when I decided (finally) to write my own series I started research some publishers and I entered the one that publishes HP here, in Brazil. It disposed Ch. 24 from HBP for people read. It's the chapter that H/G come together and Ron ends with Lavender. I had already seen R/Hr by the movie so both pairings weren't surprise to me. Then, before DH was released, some pirates translations appeared in internet and I read one (OK, mea culpa). No surprise again (well, the translation was quite entertaining) except for some clear holes during the stories. I decided to write for children and teens so I borrowed the books. And guess what? I saw clearly that people didn't smoke Amortentia Cigarretes and started to see H/Hr. It was really there (Well, I still see a threesome. I think my dosis were stronger!

Thank you, I'm glad that you like it
Good luck with your publications and great to hear that a part of the HP readers in Brazil ship H/Hr too

Wonderful essay Daniel G. Glad to have you aboard.

~Salamon2

Hello Salamon2

I'm happy you like it !
Thanks, it's really nice to be here !

Daniel G. - GREAT essay, I really enjoyed reading it. I only just got back into shipping, and it's essays like this one that really makes me proud of being a H/Hr shipper. Thank you



Yeah, I know - none of my friends ship H/Hr, or even think about shipping. How can they not?



I could not agree more. I mean, that's exactly how I felt when re-read DH a few weeks ago. Of course they would be preoccupied with their OBHWF ( ) idea in the end of DH, but at some point they would have realised who they really belonged with. I'm not saying it would take years - my theory is that in DH, when Hagrid carries Harry out of the Forest and everybody thinks he's dead, I think Hermione must realise something. She would probably not leave Ron right away, but something has to have changed, when she realises she might have lost Harry forever. Anyway, that's just what I think (I feel a fanfic coming.)
So; disregarding the crapilogue I think our ship DID happen. At least in HPverse

And by the way - it's nice to know there are fellow shippers close by. I'm from Denmark (so sorry about my spelling, it's probably a mess).

Again, thank you for the essay. It feels SOOO good to be back here! I've missed you Portkey!

Emilie

Not a fan of essays (ANY essay), but just wanted to say I've embedded this thread's link into your sig's "Harmony is Destiny" line.

I've already met you in the Avatars FAQs thread, but no harm in welcoming you again here. Good to see more PK shippers come over.

Hello Emilie

WOW, I'm happy you feel so, thank you for that compliment !!

Well, I assume that many people aren't able zu realize the royal treasure that lives in HARMONY, because they never have had a relationship like H/Hr before but only R/Hr- or H/G-like ones, OR (because I also had only H/G-likes...one time I was H, the other time I was G ) because they aren't able to realy FEEL with their intuition into H's and Hr's relationship during reading HP to really apprehend what it is OR such deepness would be beyond their personal capacities...or because they would not be willed to put so much effort and work in a relationship like H and Hr do. R/Hr is so much easier: Barking at each other, sulking and then after some time reconciling again, much conflict, yes, but never really working things out. H/G is also easy: not much talking but only project in the other what you want to see.

No doubt about that

I think so too; that shock should have shown her who REALLY was most important to her! It must have felt for her like dying herself! As you said, she should have had realized something at that point !
Hey, do you write fanfics ? Yes, that would surely become a good fanfic

WOW, thank you for that !

I didn't return to that thread, because suddenly I could load up an avatar!
So thank you now very much for taking me on board of PK , it's great to be here !!!

I couldn't agree more with your essay. I always thought of the OHBWF as the perfect ending for a ten year old who has no idea yet of what real love is. In fact, when I was ten I was convinced I would marry my favourite celebrity crush, does that remind you of someone? of course that didn't come true for me.

Hello pink.drea ! Thank you, I'm happy you like it !

Well, THAT's a good insight ! A book that clearly aims at mature readers with all that death, angst and torture...but with a "Happy End" for little kids that leaves the mature reader unsatisfied (and I don't just mean the final pairings with that!)?! What went on in JKR's mind !?

Well said.



- Probably just, you know, like, THE BEST BOOKS EVER! But yeah, I know what you mean. When you've read all the books and then reach the epilogue, it's like everything just falls apart. The books were all sooo great, but then comes those fatal last pages. It's just so unlike the rest of the books. It must be because she wrote it such a long time ago.

- At that time she just didn't know her characters well enough to realise that Harry and Hermione's relationship might grow to be something more than just friendship. And maybe she was just to stubborn to change it..

By all means you are right about her stubborness. From an AUTHOR'S POINT OF VIEW the Crapilogue is on a much lower level than the rest of the book. She must have realized that her writing abilities improved very much since writing the Crapilogue, but she was too stubborn to rewrite it.


But...
If I understand you right, then you implicate that IN THE END (after finishing DH) JKR maybe realized that "H's and Hr's relationship might have grown to be something more than just friendship".
Well, let's recall JKR's pseudo-Harmonian interview for a moment:

Well... sharing extreme situations together can surely deepen a love relationship, but it can never be the BASE of a love relationship so what the hell is she talking about? “So it could have gone that way” ( = Harry and Hermione married with children 19 years later) ONLY because of these EXTERNAL reasons? How childish is that thought !?! I mean, seriously, I've got a notion that JKR has NO IDEA AT ALL what composes deep real love relationships! So after all and in the end she still has NO CLUE AT ALL about all these wonderful INTERNAL reasons that hold and draw Harry and Hermione together, which are the subject of many Essays here on portkey and of which every Harmonian is aware!
So did JKR mere CHANNEL in trance the books directly from the Potterverse, so she don't needs AT ALL a little bit insight in the most important relationship in her whole work?! Or is that subject (deep real love relationships)mere her own personal weakness so she has no clue about it?

She had an idea in her head before writing and refused to live it. It proves her, at least, lack of attention of what she's doing. I never thought about you said above Daniel G. but you're right. Even startingto think that she could had let H/Hr happen, she gave shallows reason. I know that she got the pression of the whole world for finishing her story and HP series is her first experience as author, but it wasn't a case of she didn't know what she was doing because she was.

An R/Hr or H/G shipper here in Portkey wrote one thing that I found very interesting (And I agreed with her/him). JK said that Harry fell in love with Ginny during 6th Summer andquoted an example from the book. Ginny was speaking badly of Fleur and Harry was trying to defend the last one but without much effort. She/he pointed that Harry, subconsciously, wasn't opposing Ginny in other to do not upset her, using this as an example of him starting to fall for her but not realizing it. I agree! Before someone jump on my throat, I agree with what our fellow heron or choco said which means that JK put Harry speaking more by his actions (or reactions) than by his words.

As I have pointed out exaustively here, Harry has no conscious thoughts about his feelings for Hermione (nor even the "sibling" one) and I made an example of this the DoM fight. We know that Hermione did everything to to avoid Harry going to MOM and he knows it. There he discovered that it was a trap and he first thought of it was that he had to take ALL his friends from there in other to avoid them die because of his stupidiness. Fine. The De's threatend Ginny but when the group finally manage an escape what Harry did? He grabbed Hermione (the second one most skilled to defend herself and the small group) and put her near him, worried about having his eyes on her all the time. Many people here saw this scene as a proof of his love for her, but for me he was feeling extremily guilty about putting her, who told him by every means that it was a trap, in danger. This is an action speaking in place of words.

What do I want to prove with these two examples? That she did knew how she put things but refused to give a better attention. She created similar situations but decided that one be true and the other didn't. It's something like: "This is it because I say so". All right.

Another example that I wrote in another tread. Harry and Cedric were becoming friends in GoF. Before TWT Harry never thought about Cedric, and didn't have any opinion about him like Fred, George or Ron that think he's too dumb to connect words in a sentence. He started to like Cedric as a friend and it went till Harry discover that Cedric was taking Cho, Harry's crush, to the Yule Ball. Suddenly, for Harry, Cedric became too stupidy too. Of course was his jeaulousy speaking.

In OOTP, after discover that the prefect bagde went to Ron, even if it was for a brieth moment, Harry thought badly about Ron's intelligence in a very Malfoyish way. Since when Harry competes with Ron and gives that importance to school? Why suddenly the other is not good enough to be prefect when their performance in school are similar? But if we go to the previous book, one thing changed in the trio's dynamic: both boy finally recognized Hermione as oppositive sex and pretty.

She uses a lot the same way to show Harry's thougths, actions, reactions about situations and people but NEVER specify why one is diferent the other. So, don't be surprise, my dear Daniel G. when she puts things this way. Remember that:

1 - Steve Kloves was the one THAT talked to her and he was not the only one;

2 - She KNOWS that R/Hr and H/G aren't convincely developed. Not as H/Hr was. She needed to shown some shallows excuses to say that they could gone that way too. If she said the REAL reason it would weaken her own work as writer;

3 - The whole HP books are based on alchemy. She made Harry Sulphur and Hermione Mercury. When you have time, go to our alchemy section. There are pleny discussion in how it worked in the series. We suppose to know that an author that uses alchemy understands the dynamics of Sulphur and Mercury;

Your line of argument is conclusive: So she did plan that Harry and Hermione were destined one for another for an alchemical wedding like Sulphur and Mercury and designed their personalities and their relationship accordingly. ...and then she simply decides not to let it happen but to waste them to meaningless relationships with others !?
But...it seems that she did not decide it later during writing the last books!
If I have understand it right what others wrote in this forum, JKR wrote the Crapilogue already BEFORE she actually wrote the final version of PS (that's the reason why the Crapilogue is on a lesser level from an author's point of view than the rest of her work), what means that she planned more or less FROM THE BEGINNING (conscious or subconscious) that Harry and Hermione would fit alchemically ( = perfectly) together, BUT NOT TO LET THE ALCHEMICAL WEDDING HAPPEN !

headlines.....H/G and R/Hr pairings only of cause of genetic preferences and not of cause of real love!- Finally Proof!........
Wicked, I found it, I found it !
JKR is actually clearly confirming this headline in HBP!!! I am just hearing the german audiobook to HBP on youtube and I just heard a really interesting scene, that makes the real reasons behind the final pairings in canon more than clear! Slughorn's introduces his class to the so-called "love" poiton Amortentia. He makes it clear that it does not create real love but passion/Schwärmerei (I have only the german text and have to translate back to english, so I might not find the exact words from the english version here) and obsession!
For everybody, Amortentia smells like the most attractive possible but has for everybody a different smell because everybody has different preferences. As I have pointed out in my Essay above, I suppose that what draws Harry to Ginny and Hermione to Ron are maybe first and foremost genetic preferences which means that one's genes mixed with the other would generate a healthy offspring. It is known in biological psychology that your subconscious can realize that through the smell s.o. has and that many couples form out of reasons like that (to generate healthy offspring and to ensure so the continuity of your genetic line). You might feel yourself drawn to such a person without personal reasons then (to be more clear: you might get horny! ) and this person will also smell very good for your conscious mind!

So Amortentia smells for you like the IDEAL person (that likely doesn't exist) who would have the perfect match for your genes! Later, Harry realizes that Ginny smells (almost, I would add) like Amortentia for him! It supports my theory, that Harry FIRST smells that special smell from Amortentia and LATER realizes that Ginny smells (almost) like that! So, Amortentia does not smell like Ginny for him in the first place, but it smells like his perfect genetic match would smell and Ginny is the one of the people he knows that comes closest to that ideal (not the reverse)!
In the case of Hermione, she stops suddenly and her face gets pink while describing the smell that Amortentia has for her. I have no doubt about that she realizes that this smell is somehow alike Ron's and that she has already realized before that Ron smells good for her!

MUHAHAHAHA !
So JKR tells us here (subconsciously) absolutely clearly what the REAL base and REAL goal of the final pairings REALLY are: Genetically generated passion to generate healthy offspring (OMG, poor Hermione: Her final destination is it to become just another WEASLEY WOMB (to quote a cynical phrase from s.o. very insightful)!) and NOT real love to pervade each other with happiness and personal fulfillment!!!

Just to add the alchemical wedding part, it's the joint of the oppositives like Sulphur and Mercury, King Sun and Queen Moon, Brother and Sister, Thinking and Feeling. For what I read here, inicially JK planned to make Harry be found by Hermione's father, so I suppose that they should grow up together as adopted siblings, but she decided that if Harry would live with his aunt would create a more dramatic background. But there's a problem here: once Harry's and Hermione's background changed, their relationship would change in reality. If they stood like siblings, than their relationship would make sense. They could easily being one the other most love that it would never appear strange, but as two friends, the situation is diferent. People here say that R/Hr is more sibling-like because Ron reacts exatly the same way when Hermione and Ginny are with someone but I say that's diferent and why? Ron being jeaulous of Ginny is normal between siblings. But Hermione is not his sister. He feels jeaulousy for her is another thing. It means romantic interest. Harry and Hermione are not sibling and do not behave like siblings. JK forgot to think about this part.

I was one of those who thought that Ron was acting sibling-like with Hermione, because I just can`t fathom the absolute poor treatment Ron showed towards Hermione to be a form of attraction/love. Of course, I couldn`t be more wrong.
And I could have been happy to be a Trio-shipper if Ron didn`t act like a j***/p*** towards Hermione in most of the books. I would gladly accept a Trio-ship over the asinine Hr/R anyday.

Honestly, even if Harry and Hermione were siblings (or based on the first draft, a sort of adopted siblings), I would still ship them because the relationship that was written in the books reflected an affection/love so rare, deep and abiding that them being siblings would not have deterred me from thinking that they should be together in all the ways possible. The fact that JKR never even realised that (well, up till late last year with that sort-of-nod in H/Hr direction) has always boggled my mind. As many have noted here before, she wanted us to believe there were attraction involved with H/G and Hr/R when she wrote in those moments of jealousy and ambiguity, and yet when she wrote similar interactions between H/Hr, we are just supposed to assume that those are sibling-like.

(I hope this won`t be taken as an endorsement of incest, but the unsavoury fact is, the majority of instances of incest in real life happen between siblings).

I have already read a little about it here on portkey and it sounds conclusive!
A nice analogy, love it when people are destined one for the other

Wow, I would have like to read the story in it's original version !

I think so too! I simply can't imagine a strong and healthy person like Hermine bearing Ron's behavior for her whole live! Ron is a typical male; unable and unwilling to understand Hermione! Obviously when he thinks that he has her for sure (married, children) then he will simply expect her to adapt to him instead of using the possibility to upgrade and expand his understanding with her help!
... I just had the nightmarish picture of Ron 19 years later sitting with his undershirt and a bottle of beer in his armchair before the TV and yelling at Hermione who is frustrated playing housewife to keep the sanctity of the home...AAARGH !
... but late at night, she will sneak out of the house to meet Harry ...who feels also totally misunderstood by his still hero-worshipping wife! Where are the talented fanfic writers ...?

I totally agree, I'd do the same!

Yes, I am completely mystified about that too ! It seems impossible that s.o. who has written books so brilliant is unable to get what she created between these two people! It's an enigma, really!

I grinned [can't laugh out loud; I'm in the office] when I read the above. I was saying exactly the same thing IN EXACTLY THE SAME WORDS several days ago to my Cross-Cultural Study class. The H/Hr and R/Hr pairings are an interesting study in contrast about how different cultures look at conflict & drama; why certain people would think H/Hr is good or R/Hr is good. And in spite of my preference for H/Hr, I do understand why JKR made the book ended as R/Hr. This is not from alchemical perspective; just from a cross-cultural perspective.

Very nice essay. An interesting read.

Hello Winnie , I'm glad you like the Essay!

Interesting; could you please elaborate on that subject?

Oooooooh, yes please elaborate!

*

I know, totally pointless post. But I'm still in squeeing-mode over being back here at Portkey :D:D:D:D

I love this thread. ANYWAY!

Back to the epilogue, I recall watching a '60 Minutes' interview with JKR years and years ago, I wish I could recall which book she was working on, but she held up a copy of the epilogue in a sealed envelope, saying she had already written in years before and this was it and she would tell no one what it was until it was published in book 7.

The writing is of an earlier lesser quality, but I keep wondering if she just wrote books 1-5 and H/H happened, then she realized that the epilogue is H/G and Hr/R, so she'd better get that happening. But to me, the saga is H/Hr. They are just so right for each other!

And I agree from a prior post that I don't see either marriage lasting 19 years. What H/Hr has is much deeper and longer lasting, and I've been married for 12 years myself. Bickering and mutual attraction can only last so long, but having a deep abiding love like H/Hr lasts 19 plus years. Hence, I tend to read the post-DH fics involving divorces and such, or the epilogue being a dream

Yeah, I totally agree. It's almost like she's written all these books (1-5) and all of a sudden she goes 'oops.'

- and then she sits down to write HBP and she just fills it with OBHWF I can totally see the scenario. Jo at her computer, rereading her stuff, preparing for HBP and then.... !!! she would probably be like: when did that happen!