Title: Black and White
Ship: Harry/Hermione + Ron/Luna
Name/Pen Name: John Howling/Ancient Werewolf
Word Count: 1778
Theme #/Theme: #3: Your Choice
Challenge count: 1/7 finished

Content: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Written under Writer's Block, so it's bound to be too pointless.
Summary: One crazy day in which Harry discovers that Luna and Hermione are Black and White.

When Harry sat down for breakfast next to Ron that morning, the first thing he noticed was that Hermione was staring at Ron intently, as the redhead wolfed down his food as if there was no tomorrow. Usually - scratch that - she always avoided looking at their friend while he was eating like a madman. And if she could, she would tell him to eat properly (rarely getting him to do so, but she tried).

But Hermione would not stare at Ron the way she was doing so that morning...

"Er, Hermione?" Harry asked, cautiously. Maybe she was reaching her limit much earlier that day, and was waiting for Ron to say something so she could blow up with a reason... "Hermione?" the dark haired boy tried once more, as his friend didn't seem to have heard him.

This time, Hermione turned to him, a completely un-Hermione smile gracing her lips. "Hello, Harry," she said cheerfully. "How have you been?"

"Er, fine," Harry replied, feeling confused. "How did... er, things go with Snape last night?" he asked carefully. Hermione had had detention with Professor Snape the previous night, because she had answered all of his questions correctly, and had not given anyone else a chance, according to the greasy git. The poor girl had nearly had a mental breakdown as she left to fulfill her detention. Harry felt it would be best for everyone if he didn't mention the word detention right then, in case Hermione would finally blow up...

At his question, Hermione seemed confused, then her eyes lit up in realization. "Oh, we had lots of fun," she said vaguely.

Ron finally looked up from his food, stared at Harry, then at Hermione, and went back to eating. Probably heard her wrong, he thought.

Before Harry could ask what she had meant with that, Luna Lovegood hurried to them. She tapped Harry on the shoulder. "You have classes now," she said, and rushed away from them.

"Er, thanks," Harry called after her, frowning in confusion. It seemed that everyone chose that day to act oddly. With a sigh, he got up, pried Ron away from the food - which earned amused giggles from Hermione - and led the way to their first class... Potions.

Hermione quickly pulled Ron with her on a table, as if Harry didn't exist. With another sigh, he sat with Neville, knowing that he would probably have to go to the Infirmary Wing very soon. The chubby bloke was nice, but terrible at Potions.

Professor Snape glided into the room, and began barking orders. They all had to make a rather complicated Potion, and it seemed that Hermione was... playing with the ingredients as if they talked. Ron was staring at her, as if afraid to tell her to work on the assignment.

When Snape took points from her (and the others) for the very badly done potions, she just smiled. Harry could have sworn that the greasy git looked at her surprised, but the man quickly sneered at Harry, looking as if he knew something the boy didn't.

As they got out of class, Harry was going to ask Hermione if she wanted to go to the Infirmary Wing, maybe Madam Pomfrey would know how to help her with the stress she was obviously under...

But he was cut short by the arrival of a hysteric Luna Lovegood, who was uncharacteristically crying her eyes out. She spotted Hermione and clung to her like a leech. "I don't know how you do it!" she bawled. The older girl simply smiled calmly and patted Luna on the head.

Ron looked at the blonde as if in pain, and Harry felt completely lost. What was going on?! Both girls were acting like... the other! Something in Harry's head clicked, but he quickly discarded it...

If the girls were using Polyjuice, well... what would be the purpose? How could it last more than an hour? And more importantly, they would have told him and Ron!

Then he blushed at the other possibility... Maybe they were...

Maybe it was... that Time of the Month!

He was spared of further thinking when Ron took Luna in his arms - apparently against her will, as she seemed to be struggling to get free - and patted her on the head, whispering calming words to her. Probably mistaking her struggles with the shaking one makes when sobbing.

Hermione looked torn between anger and surprise, though Harry had no idea why. After all, Ron had been nagging them about asking Luna out for a month... And Hermione herself had cleared the mystery, that she didn't love Ron that way - her heart belonged to someone else, he remembered bitterly.

"Ron, really, I'm fine! Thank you for your concern!" Luna said forcefully, pulling away from a bewildered-looking Ron. "... Hermione, can we talk?" she asked, suddenly grinning maniacally. And, no, that wasn't something Luna did often, oddly enough.

She didn't wait for Hermione to answer, as she pulled the older girl away. They stopped several feet away, in a corner of the hallway, whispering, and pointing at Harry and Ron from time to time.

Harry turned to see what his friend thought of their odd behavior, but Ron had apparently been hurt by Luna's abruptness and was looking sadly at his feet.

"No, no!" Luna exclaimed, as Hermione walked towards Harry with a huge grin on her face.

"Harry!" she said cheerfully, ignoring Luna, who stood next to her, chewing her lower lip in concern. "Do you like Luna?"

Harry blushed, and looked at Luna and nearly fainted as he saw Ron scowling at him. "Yeah, Harry," he snapped. "Do you like Luna?"

Hermione was taken aback by Ron's tone, and Luna looked relieved. But Harry decided it was best to concentrate in the answer that would save his life. "No offense, Luna," he told the girl. "But I like you only as a friend."

Ron instantly changed his expression to a happy one. Hermione smiled serenely and Luna seemed even more relieved.

"Okay, and what about me?" Hermione asked, her wide grin returning. Luna squeaked, and somehow fell backwards on the floor.

Harry's heart nearly stopped, and he was positive he looked much redder than before.

The question about Luna had been mostly embarrassment because she was there and he didn't know how to answer in a way that wouldn't hurt her feelings. Besides, his best mate liked said girl, and he wanted to be clear that he respected his 'space'.

However, Hermione was asking about herself... Something completely un-Hermione-ish, but he couldn't lie to her... And if he couldn't lie to her, he had to say the truth which was... "Er, yes... Of course! We've been friends for so-"

"No, no!" Hermione said, waving a hand dismissively. "I meant to ask if you fancy me," she looked at a very red Luna with a smug grin, and turned to Harry, expectantly.

"Well," Ron interrupted. "Since we're all being honest," he looked down at Luna, who had been staring at Harry with interest. "I'll say it now." He gently placed his fingers under the blonde's chin and moved her face towards him. "I'm in love with you, Luna."

Luna looked panic-stricken as Ron leaned in towards her, eyes closed and ready to kiss her. "I'm Hermione!" she exclaimed.

It was as if one of those Dee-Jay Muggles made a scratching noise with the Cee-Dee thingy...

Ron opened his eyes wide and let out a shout as he jumped away from Luna... or Hermione, whatever. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?!" he asked, hiding behind Harry, in case either female decided to kill him.

Hermione giggled. "She means that I'm Luna and she's Hermione," she explained, as if such situation was completely normal. "You thought you were going to kiss me, but instead you would be kissing Hermione."

Ron made a face of disgust, but cowered behind Harry as Luna glared at him. She looks cute when she glares... Well, if she were Luna, but it is her body... Argh, this is so confusing!

Harry was gaping. "How did you...?"

"You see, Harry," Luna - who was really Hermione - said quickly. "Remember how last night I had det-detention with Professor Snape? Well, Luna also had detention with him. Er, I think we must have touched some potion similar to Polyjuice-"

Hermione snorted. "Of course not, silly," she said. "It was a Hoppy Anima, they like to switch people's bodies all the time. Hogwarts was built right over a colony of Hoppy Anima."

Luna blinked at Hermione. "That's just... wrong."

"I still don't understand something," Harry said, making them look at him. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Hermione blushed furiously, and Luna smirked. "Ohhh, why don't you ask Luna?" she said in a fake innocent tone. "She wanted to be close to-" She couldn't finish what she was saying because Hermione - who was really Luna - clasped a hand on Luna's - who was really Hermione - mouth.

"Er, when are you going back to normal?" Ron asked from behind Harry.

Luna finally managed to get away from Hermione long enough to breathe. "Well, Luna thinks the Happy Animals will get bored of this soon... But I say-"

"Hoppy Anima," Hermione corrected.

"Miss Granger, Miss Lovegood," a deep and amused voice said from behind them. It was Professor Snape. "Or should I say, Miss Lovegood and Miss Granger. I have realized that last night a bit of my experimental Polyjuice potion was left in one of the cauldrons. Fortunately for you, I have an antidote that will reverse your current condition."

Harry would not admit it, but he was relieved to see Snape appear out of thin air with a convenient solution. Hermione and Luna looked at the professor impatiently.

But Snape's sneer turned into a goofy grin, and then he laughed. "I'm sorry guys," he said, in a tone that was not Snape's. "But I really don't have an antidote. I was just doing an impersonation of Professor Snape."

Ron and Harry looked at each other and then at Snape. "Who are you?" asked the dark haired boy.

"It's me, Neville!" Snape grinned. "Professor Snape said we're stuck like this until he can make more antidote, since I accidentally threw it away. He says it'll take a couple of- er, guys? Why are you glaring at me? Guys? Ah!!!"

Never has the student body witnessed the persecution of a grumpy professor - who looked more terrified than anything - by two boys and two girls who were supposed to be heroes.

Whether it was Snape's new Polyjuice potion or the Hoppy Anima, that day would be remembered as Chase-a-Snape Day!

The end?

Haaaaaa!

Loved it!

Funny! Great fic!

Nice!

That was really cute. I haven't read a fic like this. Wow..Neville as Snape, taht was too great. Lovely job.