Title: Fainting Spells
Ship: H/Hr
Name/Pen Name: Sabrina/i_miss_snuffles
Word Count: 1,188
Theme #/Theme: #3/your choice
Challenge count: 1/7 finished

Content: PG
Spoilers: Books 1-6
Warnings:
Summary: Includes a fainting/lovesick!Harry, an airhead!Hermione, and doggy!Ron. This fic is completely terrible and plotless. Seriously, it's utter nonsense.
(Please excuse my horrible writing skills and sense of humor. Thank you.)

--

Harry peered over the book he was reading. He sneaked a glance at his beloved. He noticed her auburn hair, illuminated by the sun’s dying rays. Her huge chocolate brown orbs looked back at him, as her lips broke into a wide smile. He visibly melted and let out a sigh. She was so beautiful…

Hermione walked over to where Harry was sitting, taking the book out of Harry’s hands and placing it on the coffee table. This caused Harry to snap out of his reverie.

“Did you know you were reading this upside down, Harry?”

He closed his eyes in ecstasy. The sound of her voice filled the very depths of his soul, intoxicating him.

“Harry?”

Harry opened his eyes to see Hermione’s confused face. “Oh, sorry, yeah what was that again?”

“You were reading the book upside down.”

“Huh? Oh yeah…erm…you’re supposed to read it like that …I think.”

“Well ok. I just wanted to you know that I’m sneaking off to Hogsmeade with Lavender, Parvati and Cho so we can buy some love potion from the twins. We’re going to spike all of the Slytherins’ pumpkin juice with it.” She gave Harry a wide grin that caused Harry to melt once more.

“Well, alright. I have to do more research on those Horcruxes. Who would have known that Voldemort put part of his soul in Lucius’s old underpants…” He scrunched his nose up in disgust.

“Why are you still trying to solve all that Horcfrubs nonsense? Let Ron do it.”

At that they both looked at Ron who was, at the moment, running around in circles as if chasing an invisible tail. An encounter with some Death Eaters earlier in the year caused Ron to gain some doglike characteristics.

“Well alright. Ron! You have to figure out where the Horcruxes are and finish off Voldemort, kay?” Ron looked up at Harry and barked.

“Okay, so Harry, do you want to come with us?” Hermione giggled as she twirled her hair with her fingers in a rather ditzy manner. Harry felt his knees go weak and fainted.
--
Moments later, Harry felt something wet on his cheek. He opened his eyes to see Ron hovering over him, licking his face.

“Ugh, Ron!” He pushed Ron over and got to his feet. He looked at Hermione. She was staring blankly in front of her, as if she hadn’t noticed anything happen. She continued to twirl her hair.

“Hermione?”

“Oh, are you alright? Anyway do you want to come with us?”

“Sure. Oy Neville! Will you take care of Ron for us while we’re gone? Make sure he doesn’t drink out of the toilets again.”

Neville grinned back at Harry giving him thumbs up. Harry got up from his seat and followed Hermione out of the portrait hole, smelling her hair as they walked.

--

On their way to the Great Hall, they bumped into Ginny, who had a can of Fred and George’s newest invention- a spray paint that never runs out and changes color as you use it. Ginny was busy vandalizing the walls with said spray paint.

Harry noticed that she gotten some new piercings on her lip and eyebrows. She was dressed all in black, and wore spikes around her wrists and neck. He didn’t get too close to her in case she decided to attack him. She was known for her short temper.

Not bothering to stop and say hello, Harry and Hermione made their way to the Great Hall, where they were greeted by Green Goblin, their new headmaster. Harry didn’t like him very much. His mask scared him.

“Hello Headmaster Goblin, you look a bit flustered. Is something wrong?”
Headmaster Goblin looked back grimly at Hermione. “Three students were abducted this evening. Apparently they were sneaking out of the castle.”
Hermione looked over at Harry, causing him to faint once more. She ignored him, and looked back at the Headmaster.

“Oh dear...who? Abducted by aliens? How terrible.” Hermione said sympathetically.

“Not aliens idiot girl! Death Eaters!”

“Oh.”

“I’m not sure what their names were. I think one was Fo Lang, or Patty somethingortheother.”

“Okay, well I guess we’ll be off then!” And Hermione waved the Headmaster goodbye. “Harry? Come on, change of plans. Apparently the Death Eaters have gotten a hold of space ships and are abducting people. Guess it won’t be safe to go to Hogsmeade after all. Poor Fo and Patty…”

Harry looked up at Hermione in confusion, as he tried to get up. “Who’s Fo and Patty?”

“Weren’t you listening to Headmaster Goblin? Those are the students that got abducted by the Death Eater’s spaceships!”

“Never heard of them.”

“Neither have I.”

Harry tried to appear normal. Being so close to Hermione was starting to make him dizzy. “Well, I suppose we should head back then. Don’t want to get abducted by Death Eaters. It’s nearly time to feed Ron anyhow.” Hermione grabbed Harry’s hand, making his knees buckle. He held on to a nearby post, trying desperately not to fall.

--
On their way back to the Gryffindor common room, Harry saw Ginny who was now spray painting Headmaster Goblin’s green suit purple. He didn’t appear to notice anything. Harry felt it would be better to avoid her.

Harry and Hermione continued to walk until they reached the portrait of the
Fat Lady.

“Password please?”

“Flibble wibble,” Harry said as the entered the portrait hole. He look around the common room and noticed Ron sitting on the floor trying to eat, what looked like, Neville’s shoe. The book Harry had been reading earlier was also lying on the floor nearby, it’s pages ripped up into shreds. Neville, on the other hand, was sitting on the couch looking rather disheveled and exhausted. His robes were rather ripped up, and he was missing a shoe.

“Hey Neville. Thanks for taking care of Ron. Looks like he did a lot of Horcrux research.” Harry grinned as he looked at the torn book.

“No problem Harry,” Neville said with a weak smile. He sat up for a second then promptly fell back down on the couch.

“I wonder what happened to Neville.” Hermione look at Neville, her face full of wonderment. Harry could not help but stare at her beautiful face. “Well, I suppose we should feed Ron.”

Harry regained his senses. “Oh yeah. Ron! Over here boy!” Ron ran over to where Harry was and kneeled at Harry’s feet, his tongue hanging sideways out of his mouth. Harry grabbed a box of Wizard Paws dog food and poured some into Ron’s dish. He placed it on the floor next to his feet.

“So Hermione, what do you want to do now?” He looked over at Ron who was devouring his dinner.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Do you want to go find a broom closet and snog?” Hermione said casually, as her cheeks began to glow pink.

Harry could not believe his ears. He did not think he would be able to stand much longer. Did she just say-?

“Okay,” Harry said before he could lose consciousness.

And then he fainted.
--

The End.

HAHAHA nice comedy. I love the way Harry faints everytime Hermione turns her attention on him. Great way to make fun of "overdone". And the random bits of humor were mostly on the mark, especially Dog!Ron...

4 stars.

Will Ron need a flea collar? I'd hate to see Harry and Hermione give him a bath. Really liked, the "chocolate orbs" part was nice. It's overdone (and slightly annoying) and I'm glad someone pointed it out. Doggy!Ron sounds cute. *pets Ron*

Doggy!Ron!

*votes doggy!Ron for president*

You've made my day!

And yes, airhead!Hermione annoys me...

Wow..that was cmpletely horrible. I loved it. A doggy Ron..taht's just too strange for me. Lol. Fainty Harry..what'd happen if he went up against Voldy...

what a good and beautifully written nonsense!!! ...LOVE it, especialy doggy!Ron..!!!