Title: I Understand You
Ship: Harry/Hermione
Name/Pen Name: Jeremy/Arm_Wild
Word Count: 2, 998
Theme #/Theme: 7/Make it work.
Challenge count: 1/7 finished

Content: PG-13
Spoilers: Books 1~6
Warnings: None.
Summary: Hermione desperately tries to change Harry's unhealthy attitude before he goes off to duel Voldemort. Set on the Quidditch Pitch.


A robust rainstorm attacked the Hogwarts grounds without warning, dispersing students who had been frolicking about minutes ago.

It was the heart of dusk. A tall young man walked towards the quidditch pitch. He walked with slumped shoulders and a broomstick hanging limply from his hands.

One might have thought he was a quidditch athlete pondering the shame of a failed match. Nothing could be further from the truth. This was a man with far heavier thoughts. This was a man preparing himself for war.

Harry grunted as he sat down on a seat close to the field. Tonight, he thought. Tonight is the culmination of my whole life. Will I let down everyone who sacrificed for me?

Sighing, he contemplated everything that had happened since he’d entered the world as “the boy who lived”. He remembered scattered details from his abused childhood. He ran through all of his happy memories at the school that had come to mean “home” to him since he was 11. He grinned slightly as he remembered strange details from every Quidditch match he had ever played. Ah, he thought. This is why I had to come here to the pitch, before… tonight.

Then suddenly, it was as if a knife cut through his happy recollections. Haunting memories of loss and pain flooded through his consciousness.

Cedric lying spread-eagled on the ground. Sirius falling through the veil in slow motion. Dumbledore being sent off the tower by a jet of light from Snape’s wand.

Hagrid absorbing stunning spells sent by an overwhelming force of death eaters at the Burrow, until even his Giant blood couldn’t hold out any longer. He had smiled at Harry in his kind manner before he took one last shuddering breath and went limp.

Now Harry arrived at his most potent and recent memory. The memory of a couple days ago. His nails dug into his palms subconsciously.

…Harry and Lupin had just finished destroying the last of the horcruxes when a small group of death eaters infiltrated Grimmauld Place. In the ferocious battle that ensued, Harry had been too busy concentrating all of his wandless abilities on killing Snape to hear Lupin’s cries for help. Lupin had died while Harry recklessly took his revenge on Severus…

Harry sat inhibited and crushed under his guilt. If only he had turned away from Snape a bit earlier, he told himself. One moment earlier…

He’d avoided Hermione religiously since coming back to Hogwarts. Ron had fallen deeply unconscious in the battle long before Lupin’s death. He was in the Hogwarts infirmary; and Madam Pomfrey said he would wake up any time now.
Harry didn’t know what he would say to him.

He didn’t even know if he would get the chance to talk to his friends ever again. Not after tonight…

Lightning flashed in the distance. Harry wrapped himself in his invisibility cloak and waited for the thunder-clap to follow…

-----------------------------

Hermione sat alone in the Gryffindor girls’ dormitory.

Her heart was rent. She was terrified for Harry. She knew that tonight was the night.

The ministry and order would be preoccupied containing an army of Inferi. Meanwhile, Harry would duel alone with Voldemort at the department of mysteries.

Hermione shuddered. Harry now had frighteningly clear communications with the dark lord through his scar. Over this connection, they had agreed to meet for a wandless duel to the death at the place of Sirius’s passing.

There would be no Death Eaters present. It was essential to Voldemort that he prove his superiority over his lifelong enemy.

Harry, for his part, knew that he must duel alone. He’d already long since accepted the destiny voiced by the prophecy. There was no turning back now. Only he could vanquish Voldemort’s evil once in for all. Ron and Hermione alone knew of tonight’s discreet and deadly arrangement.

There was a dull and all-encompassing feeling of dread penetrating Hermione to her very core.

She was hurt badly that Harry hadn’t come to bid her farewell. He’d become a quiet and dark character over the 7th year at Hogwarts.
Hermione was shaken by the prospect that her last image of him might be that of a sad, harsh man hiding from everyone around him.

Then she was suddenly horrified at herself. What am I thinking, she gasped. I am assuming that he will be killed by Voldemort instead of the other way around.

The fate of the world rests on this wizard’s duel tonight, she thought grimly. Yet, all she could concentrate on was the fate of Harry. He was a naturally kind and cheerful boy who just wanted to be normal, she thought. Yet he had turned into a soldier on a mission. And was about to face a terrifying destiny alone.

Hermione made up her mind. Harry had warned her in a voice of cold steel not to distract him. “I must be left alone,” were the words he had used. “I’m warning you, Hermione. Stay away. Maybe when this is all over and if I’m still alive, I can explain…”

But Hermione had seen a certain softness in his eyes that only she could decipher. She was sure that she had heard a muffled sob as he had walked away from her, quidditch muscles in his forearms flexing.

Quidditch, she thought. She knew instinctively where he would be preparing himself for the dark moment ahead: The quidditch pitch. Huddled under his invisibility cloak with his broomstick ready to fly on to the department of ministries…

She couldn’t just leave him to do this alone. No. It wasn’t right.
Hermione felt scared about approaching Harry in his volatile mood. But she felt the bonds grown over seven years pulling her towards him. She slowly stood up. I won’t let Harry fight Voldemort in this lonely, dejected state, she determined. I won’t…

Hermione walked out into the pouring rain. A confident girl on the outside, crying on the inside. She was soaked to the skin in seconds.

-----------------------------

Harry stared straight ahead with a grim face, breathing deliberately, cloak pulled tight around himself. He tensed. Were those footsteps he heard?

As the sound approached closer, he was sure of it. Hermione, he thought angrily.

As if cued, her voice drifted over from somewhere to his left. “Harry?”

He stayed dead-quiet.

“Oh Harry, I know you’re here somewhere, brooding under your invisibility cloak…”

Still silence.

Hermione let out an exasperated sigh. “Harry! Lupin would-”

“Shut up,” came his low voice. Then it rose in pitch. “LEAVE! I TOLD YOU NOT TO-”

Now it was Hermione’s turn to speak firmly. “Harry,” she said. “I’m not listening to you this time. I’m going to sit here in the rain until you take off your cloak so I can see your face.”

Harry growled and stubbornly refused to talk. They sat there like that, equally implacable and silent. Finally, Harry ripped off his cloak and glared at Hermione.

“What in the hell can be so important now?”

Hermione bit back her wounded feelings. “You,” she said quietly.

“No,” he snarled. “No, I’m not what’s important. What’s important is coming here and talking about Lupin as if… as if you understand what you’re talking about-”

“Harry, I’m sorry-” Hermione attempted, but Harry was going full steam now.

“YOU THINK I’M IMPORTANT? LUPIN AND SIRIUS DIED FOR MY STUPIDITY! NOW I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OVER WITH. I’M GOING TO DIE TONIGHT.”
“And hopefully, I can take Riddle with me,” he added in an undertone.

It took all the self-restraint in the world for Hermione not to burst into tears. Her lips trembled but she kept her voice steady.

“Harry, I’m really sorry for having brought up Lupin. It was stupid of me.”

There was a following silence that could be deemed friendly or awkward.
Finally, Harry spoke. “How in the world did you find me?”

Hermione smiled slightly. “You still think you can slip yourself by me, don’t you… Doesn’t being your friend for 7 years account for anything?”

“Yeah,” Harry said dumbly.
Then he added, “Sorry.”

Hermione was pleasantly surprised. “I checked on Ron on my way here,” she said. “He’s still the same, but Pomfrey assures me he’ll be okay.”

“Good,” said Harry. “Still has me worried sick though...
Even tonight.”

There was another awkward silence for a few minutes.

Harry glanced sideways at Hermione. She was sitting still. The rain drenched her shirt and it clung to her body, causing some of her skin to show through. He was slightly embarrassed and turned away.

“It really has been 7 years, hasn’t it…”

“What?” said Hermione, surprised by Harry’s stab at conversation.

“7 years since we met. 7 years since Ron and I jumped the troll.” Harry couldn’t help a trace of a grin from appearing at the corner of his mouth.

Hermione laughed softly. “I didn’t deserve being saved, the way I was acting at the time. Remember?”

“Of course,” said Harry. “Wingardium Leviosa!”
This time, they both laughed. Hermione was encouraged. The two plunged into a winding discussion of all the happy and funny memories they shared. They didn’t even bother with a charm to keep themselves dry from the relentless onslaught of rain.

Hermione was glad to talk to Harry this openly for the first time in months. She noticed that many of his smiles didn’t reach his eyes, but she forced herself to ignore this fact.

Gradually, the sky darkened and the conversation slowed down. A particularly loud thunder-clap put an end to Harry’s detailed recollection of Fred and George’s fireworks.

Hermione sensed that Harry was trying to will himself to leave. She desperately needed to bring up what she had come to talk about. Yet she found herself speechless. Harry spoke first.

“…all those years,” she heard him mumble to himself.

“What?” asked Hermione.

“Huh?”

“You were saying something.”

“Oh. It’s nothing. It’s just-“ Dammit, Harry thought. He really didn’t want to go in this direction. But he also felt that he couldn’t push her away now.
“It’s just that in all these 7 years, I’ve never once enjoyed any of it. I don’t mean the wizarding world. I mean the fame. Fighting Voldemort.
All I’ve ever needed to be happy are my friends and my school. Can you understand that?” he finished sadly.

Hermione nodded and smiled at him. “Yes, Harry. I’ve never doubted that about you.” She was glad he was volunteering to talk about Voldemort in any way.

“Whatever happens tonight, I don’t wanna be remembered for my encounters with Riddle and his slimy followers.”

Hermione nodded again, fearing that her voice would crack if she spoke.
Harry now slowly stood up, un-tucking his broomstick from the crook of his arm and pulling on his cloak.

“I want to be remembered for who I was. Not who I fought.”

Hermione watched, aghast, as Harry backed away from her. She realized what he was doing. He was leaving!
And yet she remained glued to her seat from shock, as the implications of the coming moment hit her at full force.

“What I do tonight is for Lupin and Sirius. I let them down and I- I won’t let them go un-avenged.”
He looked as though he were about to say something else. Then he turned on his heals and started walking forward.

Now Hermione jumped up with the force of a cork escaping its bottle. “HARRY,” she half-screamed, half-croaked.

Harry turned around, his head hovering out of the invisibility cloak.

“I’m… I’m coming with you!” she managed to yell.

Harry’s jaw muscles clenched.

“I know I can’t kill Voldemort.” There were tears streaming down her face now. “And I know you have Sirius watching over you. But pl- please! Who knows what sort of awful powers V- Voldemort has behind him in that dreadful place?”

She was running towards him now.

“STOP!” boomed Harry. He stomped his foot forward and two wide cracks sprouted opened in the pitch. Hermione stopped, stricken. Harry’s wandless powers were frightening.

Then Harry’s voice softened as he looked at his friend’s miserable form.

“You know this is the way it has to be.”

“No, no it isn’t. Oh Harry, can’t you understand?” Then before she could stop herself, the words burst out. “Lupin and Sirius didn’t die so you could lose your will to live! You have to stay positive! You aren’t going there to die tonight, Harry! You must not fight motivated by your hatred!
Don’t push out of your mind all those who care about you... Harry, please!” Hermione pleaded. “Come back-”

But she’d seen the look in his eyes that told her she had pulled the final straw with her words.

She saw everything in slow motion. Harry turned around. He pulled one leg over his broomstick. He hid his face in his cloak. He pushed up with his legs…

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The ragged cry escaped her lips. Hermione ran forward wildly as the visible parts of Harry’s firebolt ascended upwards. She blindly threw herself into the air. And felt impact.

Harry gasped as Hermione’s flying tackle smashed into him and knocked him off his broom.
He felt the air rush out of his lungs as he landed hard on the ground with Hermione on top of him.

Her face hovered a few inches above his, and wet strands of her bushy hair dangled onto his forehead. Lying there panting, a powerful emotion welled up within him. He stared up into her tear-filled eyes. I was about to ignore her, he thought. I was about to leave her crying without saying goodbye.

“I’m sorry Hermione,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.
“I was scared… and… miserable about Lupin… he… he died because I wasn’t-“

“You were blinded by your anger, Harry,” Hermione said quietly. “And you still are. You’re forgetting everyone who loves you.”

“I know,” Harry admitted. “But it’s too late now. I have to fight him tonight.”

Hermione pressed on urgently. “Voldemort is at his weakest now. We’ve destroyed his Horcruxes. But you need support to defeat him. Don’t push me away, Harry!”

“I appreciate what you’re saying, Hermione. And you- you’re right. But… I can’t let you come tonight. You know that.”

And suddenly, Hermione knew what to say. She took a deep breath and the words jumped to her mouth.
“I know, Harry. I know I can’t come. But there is one thing I can do for you. I can understand you.” She was crying again.

“I’ve always known that you fight Voldemort because you’re Harry. The Harry that cares about his friends! Not Harry the chosen one.” Hermione paused as her breath hitched. “Remember that tonight, Harry. You have people who support you because of who you are!”

She broke into an uncontrollable spasm of tears.
Harry could feel her body trembling on top of him and his own eyes started to mist. He reached up and held her face in his hands.

“Remember Harry, I understand you! I understand you and-” She paused and leaned her face forward.
Harry could feel her hot breath on his lips.

“And what?” he whispered.

“-and I love you,” she finished softly. She leaned down and delicately pressed her slightly parted lips onto Harry’s.

Harry could feel the back of his head being pushed against the wet earth as Hermione gently kissed him with her soft lips. After the first seconds of shock, he closed his eyes and gave himself over to the wonderful sensations.

The pair slowly sat up on the ground, Hermione still on top of Harry. Their lips disengaged momentarily as they caught their breath and looked at one another with wide eyes.
Then wordlessly, they kissed again, this time more passionately. There was no time to “take it slow” as Harry gently parted his mouth, inviting Hermione in. Tongues, teeth and lips clashed with wet fervor in the heat of the moment. Harry marveled at Hermione’s taste as her tongue swept over his.

For the next few minutes, there was nothing else in their world, as they were lost in each other. Harry occasionally moved up from Hermione’s mouth to softly wipe off her tears with his lips, tasting the salt on his tongue. His hands were constantly under her shirt, caressing her back...

-----------------------------

…Finally, they knew that it was time. Harry stood up and helped Hermione to her feet. Then he hugged her long and hard, squeezing the water from her and trying to conceal that he was crying himself. But when he pulled away, Hermione saw a brightness in his emerald eyes. A brightness she hadn’t seen in months.

She smiled inside. The Harry I know is back.

“Voldemort won’t recognize you under all that mud,” she joked tentatively, still trying to put off the moment when Harry would leave.

Harry smiled. Then he grinned. “We’re going to have a lot to explain to Ron,” he joked back.

He picked up his cloak and broomstick. “Good bye, Hermione,” he said simply. Then he added, “Thank you. Thank you for… making me understand.”

Hermione’s eyes were still sparkling with tears, but she was smiling her beautiful smile.
“Stay alive, Harry. I love you.”

There was a long silence.
Then Harry responded, “I love you too”.

He pulled his invisibility cloak around himself. Then in a smooth motion refined over years of quidditch-playing, he swung up onto his broom and sped upwards and away.

Hermione kissed her fingers to the sky even though he was now invisible.
Her heart was still tremendously worried about her friend. But she felt confident in him. After all, she’d known he was a powerful wizard since she was 11! But more importantly, he was Harry again…

-----------------------------

Harry looked back over his shoulder one more time at his friend of 7 years who was now also his lover. He felt a powerful sensation he hadn’t felt in a long time. But it wasn’t awkwardness. He smiled to himself. It was confidence.


-fin-

Good job! I really liked your story.

Good--

I really felt it--I really felt like I was reading the end of the book and felt the thrill of it being unexpected and being exactly what I expected but not, but better, but different.

You get what I mean right?

Nice. When the emotions were running high, I felt it. Can't wait for your other responses.

You did a really good job. Wow

Great atmosphere, great emotions, great way of doing this. You really get to the heart of them here, and there's a nice hint of smuttiness too, which isnt a bad thing

Umm, wow.

I had a 4 all ready for this, but as I read this it just seemed to get better and better. Some of it seems to be done before but at the same time quite original.

It was certainly angsty stuff and very well written. Hermione's interaction with Harry was very canon, also you didn't fall into the trap of having Harry apologize too much.
The conversation didn't have too little or too much. Didn't spell everything out to the reader. The backstory was quite interesting to follow.

I like how Hermione gave Harry a reason to live, really giving Harry something to fight for other then vengeance and kinding of giving him the power-the-dark-lord-knows-not; hope, love, the will to live etc. Really something Voldy wouldn't have and an interesting take on the prophecy.

My Ipod was on Pink Floyd whilst reading. It really set the mood.


Same here.

Well, 5 stars.

Thanks muchness for the awesome reviews, guys (and gals) ! I appreciate 'em!



Umm, I definately tried to write a hot make-out scene, but surely, you don't think they would take it that far out in the open?! Remember, it's outdoors on the quidditch pitch!

Well my mind has elements of pure filth always bubbling beneath the surface. I am masculine - its my cross to bear!!!

Well, Jer, that was brill. But first, my reaction to the death of Lupin:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LUPIN!! *sniffsnobcry*

All right, I'm ready. You can really feel the emotions from Harry and from Hermione- and you portrayed Harry the way that I think he might be in DH. I loved Hermione in here- she wasn't going to let Harry go off without saying goodbye and I think this has to be one of my favorite lines:


She keeps up the facade of confidence, but really she's falling apart.

I noticed this though:

Bolding mine. I'm thinking that should be Department of Mysteries.

Very well-done, Jer.

LMAO THANK YOU! Just corrected it. What an embarrasing blooper. I have no idea what was going on in my mind...

And I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

Very good Jeremy. 4 stars
Thought that NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! part was a bit overdone. But otherwise pretty good.
JKR writes Hermione's reactions with subtlety but powerful enough.
Could have incorporated the books and cleverness speech as well.

.
Hoarse.
Wish it was NC 17 though.
Email a Nc 17 version to me. privately.

Well I tried to keep Hermione and Harry in character without overdramatizing. The idea was for the emotions to slowly build over their conversation until that sudden "NOOOO" outburst when she does her desperate act impulsively. It was supposed to be the moment when she "unraveled". Personally, I can't see anything wrong with it.

Thanks for correcting the spelling mistake there.

Naw, sorry, but this fic is staying PG-13.

Jer, you never cease to amaze me. I didn't even know you wrote ff! Been keeping that one quiet, eh?

Anyhoo, I really enjoyed the story. There were a few mistakes (how'd Ron know about the plan if he was in a coma, lightning comes before thunder, etc.) that caused pause, but nothing major.

I loved the premise - that Harry finally realizes that love is the power he has, the power that will, and has, saved him. Starting out with vengeance and showing how that only hurt was great! Really nice message.

My FAVORITE line was:

“I want to be remembered for who I was. Not who I fought.”

Ugh. Isn't that what we all want for him? The old "Harry, just Harry" bit? *cries*

Oh, I did also wish the focus was more on the others. It seemed as though Harry's main focus was on Lupin and Sirius and, while important, I wished you would have focused more on Lily too. I think she's the one who made the ultimate sacrifice; the one who was given a choice and chose Harry. W/o her, he wouldn't even have seen his 2nd birthday.

I have a soft spot for Lily, though. Ooooh, and DD, wish he would have been in there more, but oh well.

All in all, great story!

I used to try to write novel legnths before I was a PKer. They seriously sucked and I'm embarrased to look back at them now. This is my first-ever one-shot.



Easy, Ron knew about the plan because Harry and Voldemort had made the arrangement long before the Grimmauld-battle than knocked him into the coma. I didn't have the space to spell everything out. The word-count is 2,998 if you'll notice.

WOOPS, back to science 101 for me. That was a really careless, abscent-minded mistake. Ill go switch the lightning to first lol. Thanx for pointing this out.



Like I said, 2998 words.
Only two words to spare lol. My first draft was about 3,700 words with lots more backstory, but I had to edit that down. So I did my best to flesh stuff out within the limited size I had to work with.

Anyways, thanks for the compliments!

Ah, okay. But, if the plan was old...why were they just doing it now...Okay, I'm done. I believe you.

And I didn't know there were word limitations on these stories. That must be really hard!



Okay, but if you would have replaced Lupin for Lily all those times it would have been better, imo. It's your story, though, I'm just throwing in my 2 knuts.

I still gave you a good star review!

Okay maybe not OLD old. How 'bout it was agreed upon just a little before the grimmauld-battle? That would have been a good mutual agreement. Harry needs the time to prepare, and Voldemort the time to wreak extra havoc and bring out his minions so he'd be ready to CONQUER after he beats Harry.



Hmm... I just really felt like writing Lupin!Angst I guess lol. That was the inspiration that came naturally to me. I love marauder-centric drama.



How kind of you! lol just kiddin, I appreciate it.

An excellent story....the HH dynamic is very accurate, and the story captures exactly what I expect it to be come July 21st...

Good job.

I also LOVED this story it described the characters very good and I liked the fact that Hermione got through him and made him think and rationalize. EXCELLENT

God, Jeremy...for a minute there I thought I was reading the end of DH! Great job...the rain, I love rain...and in here I think it was just awesome. Anyways....

That was just astounding. You had my heart racing, it was so brilliant and powerful it made me immersed in the story, thank you so much for writing it and im giving you five stars.

I really loved the emotions in your story. It felt very real and true to the books. My favorite part is Hermione tackeling Harry off his broom. That was very true to form for her. You have a great story. I really enjoyed it.

Really good this was!