MOD NOTE: merging this into a related thread.
~gal-texter / Pen May2008

To me, Harry and Hermione have all the things needed to make a relationship work. Here are what I think it takes to make a relationship work and how it pans out in H/Hr and not in HR/r.

Friendship
-You need a relationship with your spouse that is based on more than chemistry and romantic attraction. Those things come and go. Sometimes you feel them, other times you do not. You need a deep friendship to last you through the times. You have to be able to have deep conversations and be there for each other, even when the flame goes out for a time. You also need a friendship that grows with time.
-With H/Hr, this is obvious. They already have a relationship of incredable depth. Deeper than they have with anyone else. Yes, in GOF, Harry says that he would miss Ron the most. However, his friendship with Ron does not have the depth that is in his friendship to Hermione. He may have felt closer to Ron at that point. After all, both are male. However, it is only Hermione that he has deep conversations with. He and Ron do not seem to have this depth to their relationship. They have fun, but that is not the most important thing in life. Harry and Hermione have a deep friendship that has been growing since the first book. They get closer and closer with each passing book.
-With R/Hr, they have friendship, sort of, but again it is not very deep. Also, they argue all the time. That is not exactly the most healthy friendship. They have been arguing practically since they first met. Oh, I know, they were in love. Yah, right. Like people fall in love at 11. Besides, there has been no change in their friendship. If anything, it has deteriorated. They have not grown closer at all.

Understanding
-It is important in a relationship that you understand each other. You are different people. You are going to have differences, whether they be personality, values, or both. That is a fact of life. In order to be able to survive and grow/learn from your differences, you need to have understanding. You need to see where the other person is coming from.
-Harry and Hermione do this. Even when they disagree, they understand the other. They know what the other is going to say/do, sometimes before the other says/does it. Because of that, they can empathise with the other person. They can disagree in a healthy way because while they disagree, they can still see where the other is coming from. Therefore, they have had very few huge fights.
-Ron and Hermione do not have this at all. Neither understands the other. Hermione sees Ron as lazy and he sees her as a nosy know-it-all. Both have slightly skewed views of the other because they cannot understand where the other is coming from. Ron is the chief offender. Hermione, at least, at times tries to understand him. He does not even try. That is why they fight and why he insults her so much. He may think he has romantic feelings for her, but he does not understand her.

Respect
-Respect is of utmost importance in a relationship. It follows from understanding. You have to understand someone to respect them. However, it does not always come. You can understand someone but not respect them.
Respect is possibly the most important thing in a relationship. It is not just respecting them as a person. It is respecting their views. It is respecting that the way they see things and the way they are is valid. This is, in my opinion, one of the major causes of divorce/breakup. People seem to have a hard time accepting someone else's views as all right. This is absolutely vital in a romance relationship.
-Harry and Hermione definately respect each other. This is obvious. Harry respects Hermione enough that even when he dissagrees with her method of trying to free the house-elves, he does not tell her that Dobby is taking the things she has knitted. Hermione respects Harry enought that even though she disagrees on him with the Sirius issue, she is willing to compromise.
-Ron and Hermione do not at all respect each other. Ron does not understand her to begin with, so he cannot respect her. That is why he insults and belittles her. Hermione, for her part, though sometimes she understands him a little, or at least tries, does not respect him either. That is why she allows herself to be pulled into arguements and also derides him on occasion.

Trust
-Trust is also vital to a relationship. Love of its strongest form tends to create it. If you truly love someone, you trust their judgement and trust that they will not betray you. You trust that they know what they are doing and that they are not hiding from you everything you need to know.
-Harry and Hermione trust each other. He trusted her with Krum and she trusted him with Cho. That has nothing to do with being strictly platonic. It has to do with the fact that they trust each other to make the right decisious.
-Ron does not trust Hermione. That is why he gets all mad with her an Krum. He does not trust her to make the right decisions about her life.

Excellently written I agree whole-heartedly, and all those points you made are the reasons I became an H/H shipper wwhen I first read the books, without even realising it! That's the thing, their relationship is so natural, so beautiful and so strong, that I couldn't help but be swept along with it, even though I didn't realise until afterwards. Perhaps not unlike what the characters themselves aare going through?

ITA with everything. It's perfectly written! *Deleted* Harry and Hermione have built up such a deep and strong basis to have a romantic relationship... All is settled, they just need to realise it and confront their feelings ( cough 7th book cough ). I really don't care anymore what R/Hr shippers have to say about it, *Deleted*

*Deleted*

::sigh:: Sorry if my rambling bored you, but I just needed to get this out of my chest. Believe it or not, I've cried in the past whenever I saw someone saying Harry and Hermione are not right for each other, just because so, or because Hermione belongs to Ron *Deleted* But it's the truth. It makes me think, what concept do people in general have about LOVE? *Deleted*

Mod Note: Glad you got it off your chest. However Portkey is not the place to do it. This Forum is for discussing H/Hr, not your feelings about R/Hr Shippers, or their opinions. As you can see, your comments about other Shippers have been removed as they were blatant generalisations. Not all R/Hr Shippers do the things you say. In future, take care in what you say about other Shippers. ~Anazecria/Nielle

Well done, Star22. That's very good

Mind you, there's so much you need in a relationship to make it work. You cannot just sit back and go "coo, I have a partner, all the hard work's over!". On the contrary, that's where the hard work begins

Off the top of my head:

- Shared values
- Forgiveness
- Loyalty
- A sense of humour
- The ability to compromise
- Understanding of what makes the other tick
- Communication. Which is possibly the most important of them all.

If you've seen the supposed 'romantic situation' between Hermione and Ron in the trailers that are floating around, pay close attention to Hermione's reaction. That's not the look of someone who relishes the thought of touching Ron, let alone anything remotely romantic with him. Seeing as it's outdoors with the Slytherins, I'm assuming that it's during Care of Magical Creatures and she needed some support when Harry walks up to Buckbeak. Ron just happened to be there ... Body language is most assuredly the key point to keep in mind when you watch the movies. In order to hide the actual plot of the books, there are several red-herrings that are released in the world of moving stories. If they don't try to throw us off the actual path that we've chosen to follow, they fully admit that we're right. There are numerous instances in OotP that point to Harry and Hermione's trust and their intimate knowledge of one another (platonic knowledge mind you). There are essays linked on the Harry Potter Lexicon that are very well written concerning the H/Hr ship. Take a look at Hermione's entry for a very enlightening read. (I linked it here in another thread at one point, I think Artemis' "Harry Potter Code" thread )

Well, on to more H/Hr ship writing! Have a good one and keep up the vigil!

-Curt

Thanks, you guys.

Yes, there are so many things needed to make a relationship work. However, these things are the things that you need to start out with. You need them before you can even start with the other things.

Scrivenshaft, all the things you suggested are traits that are shared by H/Hr and not R/Hr as well.

I agree with you 100%, star22. You've basically taken the words right out of my mouth, especially on the trust part. This was extremely well written. Good job.

MOD NOTE: merging this with a related thread.
~gal-texter / Pen May2008

Dear J.K. Rowling, Herons, Chocolatiers, fellow Harmonians and whomever sees fit to read this letter,

In light of the release of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, let me shar my feelings on Harry and Hermione and why I think this is the ideal pairing..
I will start with explaing why I hold Hermione so dear to my heart (she is by far my favorite character). I felt a connection with Hermione from the moemnt I met her in the first movie. Yes, I saw the first two movies before I read the books, but after that fell completely in love with the book and enjoy them more then the movies. I could easily relate to Hermione on many levels, I was, and sometimes still am, a bit of a know-it-all and most certainly a bookworm (I was reading books, such as Gone With the Wind in the 6th grade - American here obviously, and earned a degree in English), though unlike Hermione I was not as obsessed with schoolwork the way she is. I related to her loneliness and lack of friends. I am a child of divorce (my parents split a little over 20 years ago when I was 4) and I went through some painful transitions that made me a very shy and emotional child. I became an easy targets at school for bullies and teasing students, and even some teachers, and therefor found it hard to make friends. I had really only one girl I spent time with in school on the playgrounds. That began to change in middle school, but my circle of friends is still rather small, but intimate. I can also relate to Hermione on the way she feels about her looks, right down the pain-in-the-neck bushy brown hair - if I were British and had brown eyes, I WOULD be Hermione .
Now, you might be able to see why I can relate to Hermione so much, I'll go into why I adore Harry, though I probably don't need to since you all love him too.
Harry has so much love inside him - for the Weasleys, Hagrid, his friends, Dumbledore, Remus, and Sirius - and a wicked sense of humor despite his horrible upbringing. I find this absolutely endearing and amazing and I don't think I would have turned out so well had I been in his position; Harry is also humble despite his face and would willing give that fame up for a chance to be a normal wizard teenager. He has faults and foilbes, but he will be one of the first to admit that (usually right after Hermione points it out for him), he's just an all around good guy.
Now many of the reasons I love Hermione so much is tied in with why it is my heartfelt belief that she's the girl for Harry.

For this I will do my best, going book by book, to go chronologically:

Sorcerer's Stone:
+Hermoine - thanks to her bookish ways - knows who Harry is, just like everyone else at Hogwarts, but - and again, probably thanks to her bookishness - is not star/moonstruck over his celebrity. She is the only girl in all of the novels that clearly likes Harry from the start for simply being...Harry, and not "The Boy Who Lived".
+ She is willing to risk her life to help Harry with what he thinks is right, as proven by her foray into the search and protection of the Sorcerer's Stone.

Chamber of Secrets:
+If it hadn't been for Hermione the boys would never have been able to find the chamber of secrets, the basilisk, and save Ginny (since they never would have known what they were looking for in the first place). She's able to help Harry even though she's been petrified.
+After being unpetrified, the first person she goes to is Harry, it's her first inclination.

Prisoner of Azkaban:
+Even though she knows it would make Harry cross with her, she reported the Firebolt to McGonagall because she wanted to make sure that it was safe for Harry to use. She does what is best for Harry, even if she will get hurt.
+Used the Time Turner to help Harry save Buckbeak and Sirius, and broke rules left and right doing so, something she is loathe to do.
+Flew on the back of Buckbeak with Harry to save Sirius, despite the fact she's afraid of flying.

Goblet of Fire:
+Is the only one who stood by Harry and believed him, when he said that he had not put his name in the Goblet of Fire. To me this is one of the most important reasons, it shows she will stand by him even when no one else will.
+She felt comfortable enough with him to give him comfort in the form of a kiss on the cheek

Order of the Phoenix:
+Hermione was there to support/comfort/heal Harry after his detentions with Umbridge.
+Even though she pretty much knows it's a trap, and she was right, she goes with Harry to the Department of Mysteries and fights by his side, and is even hurt.

Half Blood Prince:
+Even though she was hurt in the Department of Mysteries (see above), she is still therefore him, his friend, and does not blame him for what happened.
+Despite her very odd behavior and the fact that some distance was between her and Harry in this book, in the end she is still willing to go with him on the life threatening quest for the missing horcruxes and to defeat Voldemort.
+Shown throughout the book, she can often read Harry's thoughts and finish his sentences (and vice versa), showing how well she really does know him.

I believe with my whole heart that Harry and Hermione could form a very deep bond of love - lasting love - that is built upon the trust, loyalty, support, and connection they already have as friends. It may not be explosive passion, but then the hottest fires always burn quickly, and a slow burning flame can often last forever.

Sincerely with love,
AnndeeGranger

MOD NOTE: merging this with a related thread.
~gal-texter / Pen May2008

I could rant and rave about Harmony being the best ship there is or...I could get to the point of this thread. Many people think that Harmonians are 'delusional' enough to believe that their stupid 'fanon' could ever be canon. And again, I can rant and rave about Harmony being as much canon as R/H but I won't.

I'm 17. 17? What do I know about love? I've never experienced it fully. I've always had an idea about it. But I don't think that'll get me far. My version of love is not teenaged-love. I have never thought of love that way. Weird. I'm a teen but I don't believe in this 'teen love' business.

You could say I'm deeper than that. I've always been a little too deep for my own good. I can get pretty emotional when I'm angry or sad. It's not something I'm proud of, anyway...I started reading HP books when I was eleven. And that was about the same time I became a harmonian. Sure some people become harmonians when they've read the third book or fourth but no, I started early. It was that chess scene that sealed the deal

I thought it would end with Harry and Hermione. All the books showed that much evidence of it. I told my friends in high school, when I was...probably in seventh grade that my wish is for Harry and Hermione to get married in the epilogue and have seven children.

But HBP happened. And that a cold shot in the back. You've always known that Ginny liked Harry but you would never expect Harry to suddenly have feelings for her and you've always known that Ron liked Hermione (but just had an extremely crappy way of showing it) but never thought he would stoop so low as to make her jealous out of a petty argument.

But let's not get into that. It's not my fault that I'm a Harmonian. It's not my fault that I see the blatantly obvious and the wonderfully magical. It's not my fault that I have these ideas about love that are similar to Harmony love. Harmony love which is compassionate, loving, caring, looking out for each other through anything. Isn't it something we all dream we had? And for the persons who are married, isn't something you've dreamt about and hopefully obtained?

I have admitted that I don't know much about love. But I have enough sense to know that love isn't shoving your tongue down another person's throat or cruelly hurting someone's feelings without apology.

So, its not my fault that I have these beliefs and ideas. And it is completely stupid to think someone is crazy because they don't have the same opinion as yours. However twisted that opinion may be. I am sick and tired of the constant insults. It makes no sense.

JKR made it this way, whether she wants to admit it or not. I'm not angry with her because of HBP. She is a great writer. She is just horrible in the romance of the series. And even when DH is out, and if she chooses the heron ship, it will still not be our fault that we thought about love this way. The Harmony way.

Do you disagree? Do you honestly think it is our fault and that we made the choice?

Remember this very old and very well-known quote (and however cliched it may be): You can't choose who you love. No one ever has that chance.

I agree with you. I, too, am 17, but for me, teen love is over played and over rated (this coming from the person who has a sister who's had 18 boyfriends in the last three years...no joke!)

To me, here's what defines teenage love:

• Gushing all the time about how "adorable" he is or his butt is (or her, for you guys out there!)
• You've known the guy/girl two minutes and are ready to marry them and have kids
• It's purely a physical relationship (come on...we're hormonal....like none of us have drooled over the hot guy/girl in math class!)
• You claim you're in love with them but don't even know their last name
• Constant jealousy over who they hang out with (and vice versa)
• Dating as a popularity thing (captain of the football team, head cheerleader, etc.)
• Dating someone because it seems like the "normal thing to do"
• Dating to rebel against your parents/guardians

And what defines true love:

• Honesty
• Respect
• A deep emotional bond with your significant other, not just a physical one
• Liking the person despite their flaws
• Feeling supported by the person, and in turn supporting them
• Being able to talk about the "awkward" subjects without feeling judged
• Not having to put on a show to make sure your significant other "likes you"
• You don't feel obligated to hang out with them, you want to.

That's not to say that adult relationships can't be like teenage love, and that some (not a lot...but some) teenage relationships can be true love. Remember:
Love has no age. You can fall in love if you're 17...or 110. If love had a set age, everyone would be miserable.

I feel exactly the same way. I'm only sixteen, but all of my friends who go from boyfriend to boyfriend disgust me at times (not that I don't love them dearly, because I do, but it's just so frustrating to have them call me and listen to their sob story about how they broke up with their boyfriend, only to learn that they're making out with another guy a week later).

I want something that's real - I want to be with someone who I actually care about, not just the guys who's interested in me or easy on the eyes. What is the POINT? I want an actual relationship where there's mutual respect and mutual feelings. I want someone who I can entrust all of my secrets and who I know trusts me.

What's so delusional about that?

I don't believe that to believe in love makes us delusional in any way, I am 17 too and honestly don't understand some of my friends that jump from relationship to relationship in the blink of an eye.

I don't ever want to expirience teenage love if it's going to mean that I'll have to lose part of what I believe about relationships, like trust and loyalty and respect.

And I don't believe it's our fault for believing in a H/Hr relationship mostly because whether JKR intended to do so or not, she wrote it that way, she wrote that bond between them, the kind of bond that most of us want to create someday, and IMO I don't think it was a fluke, I still believe that we will have a H/Hr ending.

If that makes me delusional then I'll be as delusional as ever.

I completely agree with all of you.

I'll be turning 14 in (as of now) 12 days and even I don't believe in this so called "teenage love". It disgusts me to see my fellow classmates and even a few of my friends going out with a new guy (or girl) every two weeks or so. It's just not meaningful at all! That's why I still haven't had a boyfriend (and yes, I'm not afraid to admit it) because so far I have not felt that special something with someone yet, and frankly, I don't care to date UNTIL that happens. If I'm delusional for wanting that, then fine, I'll just find someone of the opposite sex as delusional as me.

I REALLY wish some people would wake up and smell the coffee (or butterbeer in H/Hr's case).

~Panther

Whoah this has just turned into a teen love emotional talk thingy for teens and thus--

I must jump in because I am 17 too!

I was talking to my english teacher who of course ships evil weasley family happiness and he said that shipping HHR just showed what kind of person I was. Mind you he meant this in a totally nice way...complimentary even...the only thing is I have no idea what he meant. I don't know if he was talking about me not following the 'in crowd', my constant need to over analyze everything, how annoyingly deep I am about everything but it doesn't matter. Because I love EVERYTHING HHR stands for, I love everything they are to each other and everything they mean to me.

I was 15 when I first picked up the Harry Potter books, and I'm 21 now. I immediately identified with Hermione (teacher's pet, bookworm, remembers everything, bushy brown hair, difficult name, the works), and to me it was logical and right and natural that she should be with Harry. In Hermione's shoes, that's whom I would have fallen for.

Seriously, who else is there? Viktor respects her for who she is, true; but as far as we know, it was a very one-sided relationship. I can't buy into R/Hr. The Heron argument that Ron should "get" Hermione because Harry gets the fame, and the glory, and money--and Ron would feel bad if he didn't get anything--is ridiculous. I mean, doesn't Hermione's opinion count? Someone "gets" her as consolation prize! And don't get me started on the "bickering" and "sexual tension".

Please! That's not true love and it never will be. Forget the alchemy, the astrology, the symbolism, and everything that supports our ship so nicely. Harry and Hermione together just *work*. They are a true partnership and best friends to boot, and that is love. It wasn't a conscious choice, H/Hr over everything else. JKR made me a Harmonian, and I'm very happy that way.

I totally agree with everyone. I'm a little older (24), but I was just like you guys when I was your age. I've never been one to jump from relationship to relationship and I'm still not. I've always wanted something meaningful. And I think this is a large part of the reason why I ship H/Hr, because if something ever happens between them, then we'll know it's based on solid ground. There's no better foundation for a romantic relationship than a deep friendship.

I'm 14, and I don't think I have to repeat anything. I agree with all of you. Hermione/Ron is a very typical teenage relationship, and so is HarryxGinny. I just hope J.K. Rowling won't settle for teenage relationships and go for something deeper.

What's wrong with not having a boyfriend at 14? I always considered it too young. My parents have made it clear that boyfriends are strictly prohibited until I reach college at least, and my sister said I have to be in university before getting into a relationship. She said that guys in college are just out for sex, sex, and sex...>>

Well I'm a bit older than everyone else on the thread, at the grand old age of 27...

I have been one of those people that jumped from relationship to relationship. I was 21, I think, when I read the first Harry Potter book and I had just started dating the man I'm going to Marry in November. I had just found the real thing after years of searching. It had been a long hard journey for me personally and when I read about Harry and Hermione I saw in them what I had just found for myself. It seemed at the time, and still seems to me now, the most beautiful fairytale ever that they had found each other so early in life. Six books in it seems more realistic, that they've had difficult periods and they aren't to be the first boyfriend/girlfriend to each other, but to me it's no less idealistic.

So I guess I agree the central point, I didn't have a choice of ship, it's just who I am that I want them to be together.

I'm slightly older than some here (20) but I've never yet had a "proper" boyfriend or a lasting relationship. I find most guys around my age too immature and only interested in the physical. I want something deep, something real, a bond that goes beyond looks and lust. I could never jump around from boyfriend to boyfriend as some my age do because I just don't believe in all that.

That is why I ship H/Hr, I see in them what I believe myself. They share friendship, trust, respect, stand by each other no matter what and while they can appreciate how the other looks (I don't think you're ugly, more fanciable than ever) it goes way beyond that. They like each other for who they are and what they do rather than any physical reason. They just work on a level that no other ship can match and have the perfect basis for a loving and lasting relationship.

So I guess you could say I didn't choose Harmony, they chose me, because they are everything I want for myself. If supporting them makes me delusional, then delusional I'll always be.

I agree with what has been said thus far. I am 19 and I have only ever had 1 boyfriend and that is the guy I am currently with. We have been together for 3 years this September and have a beautiful baby girl together.

I have only JUST finished the Harry Potter books and I can relate to Hermione in so many ways. I was never popular in school and I always saw girls getting together with guys and then breaking up and doing things to make each other jealous. I thought it was horrible.

What is worse is my friends are like that as well. One of my friends broke up with her boyfriend and that night one of my other friends and her went out and they stayed out till 4am coz this friend (who broke up) wanted to pick someone up. It was terrible but yeah.

Even though I am not big on ships and everything I am very into H/Hr. It just seems right.

What is getting me annoyed is when I tell people over the net I am a harmony shipper I get called delusional and so on. I can deal with that but the thing that the herons do that bug me heaps is when they say "You fight with the one you like"

That is so PRIMARY SCHOOL it isn't funny. But every time you say that to them they have a go at you.

I wholeheartedly agree with all of you. I'm barely fifteen and I still don't believe in the whole teenage relationship thing. My friends do. I hate seeing them go around get a new boy every other month or every couple of months. To be honest, it makes me sick. I hate the thought of my friends having relationships that just end with them crying and saying how sad they are and all of a sudden they get together with someone new, then they try to make the ex jealous. Or they change aspects of their personality or change the things they do just to get noticed by their crush. It's annoying! And shallow. No offense to them though.

I hate the fact that for Ron to acknowledge Hermione (like really show it) is when she acts out of character. Example: When Hermione suddenly agreed to go over his essay (When she would have just normally told him to do it on his own, like before) and that's the time he suddenly goes "I love you" (even though he probably doesn't mean it to the fullest) or when she did the whole "make him jealous" thing. Does that sound like the Hermione we know and love? The intellectual one? The one that thinks things through and does NOT do petty hormone-induced actions? No. Though Herons say you fight the one you love, I see no proof of this. The ones closest to my heart hardly ever fight with me (like my best friend...although the one time we fought it was a ###### huge blazing argument, but we got over that quickly) and I do not believe that disrespecting is a sign of love. I firmly believe that Hermione is smart in making her decisions, even though there are consequences. I do hope that J.K. does see that as well and leads her in the right direction, to make the right decision.

I have made mine. It IS my fault I am a Harmonian, and I am not ashamed to admit it. I am proud of what I support.

I'm a Harmonian by choice. I saw the two options very clearly. I read the first five books, analyzing, before I made my choice as to which ship I should support. I chose not the ship that made me cringe with their petty arguments, I chose not the ship which had more tension. I chose the one ship that to me, represented true love. The ship that gave me a feeling of hope, or a spark, the one that would make me feel like there are true feelings behind the characters made of ink on paper. I chose the ship that gives me an example of what to look for: friendship, bravery, loyalty, caring, trust, honesty, understanding, harmony. It is our choices that make us who we are (-Dumbledore) and I have chosen the best ship I could possibly ship. I can (and do) withstand all the names called by heron companions, telling me I'm delusional, or I'm blind to love because I've not had a "real relationship" (which probably to shallow people means snogging). If I'm blind to love through my eyes, at least I can see it with my heart.

Hey! I'm 17 too and I really find this topic quite interesting. It seems like most, if not all of us share the same sentiments.

I, too, started to see the potential of a Harry/Hermione relationship in SS. I think I might've started to think of Hermione ending up with Harry in the end, during the Troll scene. I dunno why. I just felt that they'd be right for each other.

I got a bit sidetracked, though, in GoF because of R/Hr, although it never convinced me enough to hop on to their ship. The first fanfic I've read (which is on H/Hr) sealed the deal for me, as a Harmonian.

I haven't really thought of what true love is, at that time since I'm 11/12 and I just transferred to an exclusive girls' school (you can just imagine the severe lack of girl-boy interaction during those years!). But once I'm hormonal enough, at age 15-16, I've started to give it a lot of thought.

Because I started shipping Harry/Hermione at a relatively early age, and have read 10000000000000000 fanfics eversince, it must have influenced the way I see things. For one, I've patterned my ideal relationship after Harry and Hermione's. This would be kind of disturbing to hear, but I recently realized that a lot of my crushes have a "Harry or Dan Radcliffe element" in them (bushy eyebrows, sharp features, skinny physique, the works!).

Anyway, unlike many people whose reasons for shipping Harry and Hermione is because of their views on the nature of true love, I started off in the opposite direction. I shipped Harry and Hermione first before "discovering" my views on true love.

Now I'm thinking that generally, a person's views on the nature of love is directly connected with his/her shipping preference.

Hehe, not necessarily true, but there's nothing wrong with using HHr as an example. They make a great couple, after all.

I'm 17 and have never had a girlfriend in my life (hey, not my fault, isolated situations ), so I guess I have some experience issues...

...but anyone of intellegence can tell that teens usually get everything backasswards. I believe the me-of-no-experience understands love better than teens who've had 20 significant others. It's because I do this real moron thing... it's called THINKING?!
I think with my head and feel with my heart. Unlike the idiots who follow their balls around like a demented dog.

Heck, even some of the ARRANGED MARRIAGES of the old days were better than today's "3 month marriages"...
At least the arranged couples had priorities in common beyond their private parts!

And I know that when I get a bit more socially exposed, I won't go around hopping from partner to partner. That's because it's dam.n obvious that friendship is the base around which love develops. It takes time!

You know it seems like every Hr/R shipper that I have met are in the age of 11-19 years old and the reason they give to me as to why they are a Heron shipper is the simple fact that they think Ron and Hermione's fighting is cute and thus equals true love. Sounds like some fairytale nonsense that just shows that some of the Heron have yet to grow up past the bedtime story days. But anyways….

I must say that it is nice to see young adults on here with good heads on their shoulders and know that a relationship that is based on fighting and tension is not cute and will never be considered true love. The best relationships start from a foundation of friendship, honesty, trust and most of all respect.

EXACTLY my thoughts and feelings
1. yes it was the chess scene that sealed the deal
2.and again yes it was very hard to accept HBP it was like ' a cold shoy behing the back' as you wrote. I would have liked to quote everything you wrote but wanted to point out and thanks for this thread you must have read my mind

And everytime you try to have an intelligent discussion with these R/Hr & H/G shippers, you can't get a word out...because they're throwing around the "D" word (Delusional, as I like to call it) and just repeating bickering = tru luv. Or at least that's what happens when I attempt to talk to my friends. Good Lord, I don't even have a friend (besides all of you on here, of course) that ships Harmony...they're all R/Hr & H/G. (I have an Aunt that does...but she's over 50...I like to talk about "stuff" she wouldn't find interesting)

Wait....as Fairycat said, most shippers she's met are between 11 and 19...does anybody know of someone who ships R/Hr that is older?

The thing is, Harry and Hermione fight and have their disagreements also! They even "bicker" sometimes. But they never let it get in the way of their friendship. And their bickering is not petty the way R/Hr is. They also don't go on and on and on like R/Hr.

Bottom Line: H/Hr doesn't = a sterile boring relationship in which there is no arguing or disagreeing. That's what the herons try to make them out to be, but it's just wrong. Anyone who read OOTP can see Harry and Hermione fight... Anyone who read HBP can see Harry and Hermione flirt...

Thanks for clearing that up, Jeremy. Seeing as I can't remember half of this stuff...I'm rereading the books....when I find me some time off the computer. I'm such a bad shipper. I should be nominated for the WORST Harmonian of the month.

I'm not a Harmonian by choice, JK MADE me a Harmonian. It was her words, her thoughts, her feelings, that made me believe in the beautiful relationship that is H/Hr.

As for me, well, I'm 27 and have been with my hubby since I was 18. I've never had any 'delusions' about relationships. Never expected to live "happily ever after", I knew love was work, but in a good way.

My husband makes me want to be a better person. He is there for me, respects me, believes in me, etc. I don't take stock in "make-up s*x" or "s*xual tension". That is immature and silly to me (as is bleeping the word s*x, but that is neither here, nor there).

We fight, sure, but we grow, me move on when it's resolved. We don't sweep it under the carpet to drudge it up a week later.

UGH. This is going to turn into an anti-R/Hr rant soon, but I want to say that it seems as though we're all on the same page here.

Hear, hear! Her version of love written through H/Hr is the vision I have of true love. Having parents who can't keep marriages together long enough to sign the papers (they've each been married three times, respectively), and with most of the world today getting divorced over trifle things, I think they should take a page from H/Hr's book

I hadn't really thought about it, but isn't it kind of sad that most of us don't really know any harmonians except ourselves? Most of my friends that like HP aren't really interested in shipping (yet they'd rather have H/Hr than R/Hr); and the one friend that is ships R/Hr, which to be honest I don't understand 'cause she's very mature.



hexonjellybeans12 I completely agree with you on this one. It seems that some adults (like my parents) just can't make some of their relationships work.

Again call me delusional, but I rather learn about love from H/Hr.

i agree with you as 31 year old woman i see where you are coming from and your right most adults do not last in relationships but others do.

Wow I feel old reading this thread... I'm 34! But that's ok. I'm happy to see that I'm discussing with very mature teenagers and some other twenty and thirtysomething too... cool. Isn't it nice to be able to have nice discussions together among people of different ages?

I agree with you about love. I've had crushes as a teen, but I was shy and it stayed on the level of good friendship (the objects of my crushes never were told, at least not by me, LOL). The first time I have really been in love with someone who shared my feelings I was 22 and it was great. I'm not with this person anymore and it's OK, we took different paths, but I'm glat I have been patient. If I was to go through it again I'll do it the same way, even though I have frequently be called "retarded" when a teenager. I've always been a big fan of saying "it's my life and it's what I think that counts."

I'm now in a very satisfying relationship and although we have to adjust to each other sometimes, I even don't call that bickering. I hate bickering and could not bear to pick up fights against trivial things. Discussing about what matters to me is different, it's important and as long as there are respect on both sides, it makes the relationship richer. We have good balance between differences and common points and we share the same basic values (respect, faithfulness, truth) and even though it's been less than a year (actually almost 10 months now), we are really happy and I have high hopes it's going to last. And we have been friends for a good amount of time before getting together, which allowed us to know each other very well.

I love this thread! It really shows the essence of Harmony

I'm 18, and though I've had many crushes I never had a boyfriend before December 06, and after six months we're still together.

I always thought that I would end up with someone, and then we would have a so called love/hate relationship, because I thought that was just the normal thing. I didn't really believe in the harmony kind of love, because it just seemed too perfect to be true. But now after six months I realise that it does happen. And I feel more happy than any of my friends, who constantly bicker with their boy/girlsfriends.

I don't see why people don't recognise Harry and Hermione as potential lovers - because the harmony love is possible!! And it is better than the stupid Heron "love" anyway.

Go Harmony! It worked for me

I started reading Harry Potter when I was in the third grade, and I'm currently a junior in college. I didn't get into shipping until HBP came out. I'm sorry, but it's JKR's fault that I believe in Harmony. I just couldn't see anyone else with Harry. I tried to 'appreciate' Ginny, but she (and Rowling) sunk herself with her 'not happy unless Harry's kicking Voldemort's behind' comment. I'm happy with being delusional.


p.s. I was having doubts about H/Hr when I decided to consult my magic 8 ball. You see, I got this ball for my 17th birthday (I'm 20 now). For the three years I've had it, it has never given me a straight answer. It usually says 'to hazy to reply' or it would just float and wouldn't give me an answer at all. When I picked up the ball and asked if H/Hr would happen in DH...it said YES! It's fate!

Reading everyone's reply make me feel all fuzzy inside.

I'm 16 and I've never had a serious boyfriend before and that's okay. The closest thing I had resembled Ron and Hermione way too much. (petty arguments, constant bickering,etc) And I realized that it wasn't the kind of relationship I was looking for.

Harry/Hermione is all what love is supposed to be. Even if it wasn't JKR's intention, Harry and Hermione were clear to me since book one (I remember being 12 at the time when I first picked the book). It is simply meant to be. And even if JKR doesn't go that way, I'll still ship HARMONY. Because that's simply the way I am and the way I feel. But I'll make sure to still thank JKR for the great ship that is Harmony.



A little off topic but yesterday I had a dream were I had DH in my hands and it was Harry and Hermione. I didn't read the end 'cuz I wanted to read the whole book first but I woke up. It also included some stuff about Horcruxes but I highly doubt, she'll go that way.

I just got redirected here from another post.. loved your essay!!!!

You know what it´s reminded me of? A movie I once watched, with Patrick Swayze (spelling???) _ the guy from Dirty Dancing. I think the movie is called The Three Wishes. Sawyze plays a bum who wals from town to town granting people three wishes (he´s a magical bum) _ the thing is, HE gets to choose the wishes for them. And he meets this family, there´s the mother and two boys, one older and the other very young, they don´t have much money, and go through many problems. The children´s dad went to war years ago and is missing. The eldest boy is a very unhappy child. His greatest wish is to have his father return home and make his life better. And what happens is wonderful:

SPOILER for the movie´s ending ...








The bum saves the little boy´s life from a terrible illness, wich is the wish for the mother; he does something else which I forgot and is the wish for the little boy; and in the end of the movie... the boys´ father returns! The bum says goodbye and leaves.
Many years later the eldest boy is now a grown man and has his own family, but he is unhappy. He meets the bum again (who, being magical, has not aged) and tells him how unhappy he is. He also thanks him for returning his father to them. But the bum tells him, "I never wished your father would get back home. My wish for you was that you would be happy with what you had!








I think Harry is like the eldest boy. He thinks his happiness depends on defeating Voldemort, on being around the Weasleys, on flying brooms _ he thinks what rescued him from his misery with the Dursleys was magic. But in fact what has made him happy all theses years is his friendship with Ron and Hermione, his bond with them. I don´t think he values that properly, specially Hermione! He´s very aware of how much he´d lose by losing Ron, specially because they are both boys _ makes it easier for him to identify what Ron means. And Ron´s got the whole Weasley bandwagon with him, too. But Hermione, when has Harry ever mentioned her parents? I don´t think Harry has a exact notion of what she means to him. He takes her for granted. He throws her in the same bag as Ron.
If he lost her, perhaps he would regret not having paid her enough attention!

You know, reading this has got me feeling all funny and I can feel a small lump in my throat now.

It is both my fault I am a Harmonian and not my fault. I am nineteen years of age - just recently early this month - and my story revolves around Harry.

For my eleventh birthday I received probably the best present every - my very first copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (should be Philosopher's, but we won't get technical here...). And, like Harry, that's when the magic started for me as well. Ever since that fateful day when I started to read about a boy wizard who's life changed on his eleventh birthday, I found my life changed on my eleventh birthday. I went through the mysteries of the Chamber of Secrets and slew the basilisk with him. I rescued Sirius Black from the dementors and uncovered the truth. I suffered through the trials of the Triwizard tournament and facing the prospect of a new life under the knowledge of Voldemort's return as I struggled in real life to cope with moving nearly a thousand miles from what I knew to be home to a new life under the knowledge I had to survive in what I considered a hostile environment without any friends. I suffered teenage angst and agony in Order of the Phoenix, feeling at odds with members of my family and believing anyone understood me, and I realised the truth of it all - just like Harry did - in the end. And, finally, I suffered through the trials of Half-Blood Prince. I experienced the lust of my own emotional insecurity as Harry chased after Ginny, but at the same time I found important information being revealed about my life as Harry learned about the Horcruxes and their significance. So, I am proud that I - nearly two and a half years ago - chose the screen name "TheHarryinMe" to use online. I have identified most closely with Harry throughout all his tasks, trials, and sufferings, and I'm glad for it.

What does this have to do with me being a Harmonian? Everything. I wasn't always a Harmonian. In fact, as I just stated, I had to mature with Harry into a more grown-up view of relationships. And like Harry, I left Order of the Phoenix with too many questions to be answered in my mind. I had always thought, from my perspective, that I would like a girl like Hermione - smart, bold, understanding, strong, even daring. I have never had a serious relationship with any girl in my life - I've had very close friends who, if the opportunity existed, something may have developed, but things never came to that end due to one thing or another. I am still waiting for that perfect person to come around, someone to by my very own "Hermione Jane" - maybe not a mirror image, but someone in whom I can see those same qualities. So, I personally favoured a girl like Hermione, but I still hadn't made the connection between myself and Harry and myself and Hermione to come up with Harry and Hermione.

But that all changed when, curious and desperate for answers, I came online. I started out at Veritaserum, and have only just started to branch out to other places like Portkey over the past year on recommendations. But it was a series of three essays on the relationship of Harry and Hermione - which I never even considered until that point - that convinced me. Sure, I read the counter-arguments of the Ron and Hermione side first, believing that's what I thought, but each successive essay drew me more in until the light clicked on and I realised, all along, that Harry and Hermione was what I supported. They had a relationship like no other - they understood each other, they helped each other, the just worked well together. I made the choice, then and there, to support Harry and Hermione because it is what I saw as right, not what was easy to assume, as with Ron and Hermione.

That was my choice to be a Harmonian; however, I had always supported just this type of relationship in my head from the beginning - I never knew that Harry and Hermione had it until it was laid out plainly. So I also didn't have a choice at the same time in becoming a Harmonian - it was what I always would have supported had I seen it from the beginning.

So that's my dual fault and destiny of Harmony - not perfect, but acceptable all the same. I have the sanity of mind to know that I chose this relationship because I would have it no other way.

With that in mind, I look forward to Deathly Hallows. I feel, at this point, I have made the right choice, because I cannot help but think this way.


And sorry for that bit of a rant - especially that somewhat personal first paragraph. I felt it necessary, though.

I will always be a proud Harmonian, delusional to the very end if need be.

Well everybody posted so I should too !!


I'm turned 14 and not 17 not like most of you ^^ ... I wasn't sadly a H/Hr fan right from the start since I read the first 4 books when I was 8 so love wasn't really what I was thinking about at this yound age.

I only started to think about romance while reading HBP ... I know a little bit late but better then never. It was like having received a cold shower when I read that Harry kisses Ginny ... I was like WTH !!! o.O And then it hit me ... Hermione was so more suited then Ginny !! And I started rereading all the books and it seemed so obvious to me. I signed up on PK and there my faith was sealed as a Harmonian !!

Sure I don't know what true love is, heck I never been on a date (pathetic I know) !! But if I ever meet a somebody and I have the same relashionship with him like Harry and Hermione have then I would be gadly happy. Because seriously one of my guy friend asked me out and we fight like Ron and Hermione (a little less but still) and I flat out told him no !! I mean he is funny and nice but come on I don't want to fight with my "boyfriend" every " seconds. [okay you didn't have to read about my boring life]

I will now finish this long and boring post by saying :

Harry + Hermione = (of course )

Well, might as well put in my say too.

I'm 18, and not a great dab in the matters of love, but I know what I want in a relationship and Harry/Hermione have that.

I've never been a H/hr shipper the whole way, though I think I may have unconsciously always been one, but now all I can say is that what they have is so beautiful that it is more than romance or love. It's something that cannot be defined in a few cliched words, because Harry/Hermione is not your typical romance. It is the relationship that is constantly building and constantly getting closer. It's not about looks, lust or even friendship. It's about trust, balance and deep, mutual affection.

JKR may have wanted to write harry and Hermione as a platonic relationship, but what she has written is so much more and that is why I am so dedicated to this ship and will never surrender it, not even if the last page of DH ends and not a single glimpse of it is there to be seen, because I still, and always will, believe that Harry/Hermione is the true romance, and nothing, and no pairing can compare to it.

So is it my fault that I am a harmonian? Maybe it is? But I don't care, because I will not give up such a beautiful relationship for any attacking canaries or chest monsters!

Awe, H+Hr it wasn't boring. Actually I can relate to alot of things you said. Last year (8th grade) I was bombarded with guys asking me out (well, it felt like that for me. I don't get asked out a lot. It was like 2 guys asking me out, 2 guys I thought liked me, and 1 very close- and sorta stalkerish- call, but I disgress). Anyway, one of my close guy friends asked me out but he felt more like a brother to me (and I didn't want to lead him on or anything) so I had to turn him down... poor guy. But we were fine after that. Then this other guy asked me out, but I could tell it was just a meaningless crush on his part and I didn't have feelings for him like that.

Anyway, my point is that what we ship shows alot of (to be honest our maturity level too) what we want for ourselves in the lurve department. Using myself as an example, I turned two guys down because I could tell it wouldn't go anywhere, there wasn't a connection, a bond, yadi, yadi, yada... What I want is what H/Hr has: friendship, loyalty, trust, and most importantly, love. Now obviously, the chances of my first love being my future hubby is slim to none, but I atleast want it to be meaningful. If it's not, (like H/G, or R/Hr) then what's the bloody point of it?

~Panther
P.S. I'm 14 too in case that makes you feel any better.

WELL! might as well put in my little contribution, lol.

My journey with HP hasn't been as exciting as some of yours, but it's surely been enlightening!

I was 8 years old when I read the first page of Harry Potter and the Sorceror's stone. some say that's a tad young to start reading them, but I was a RABID reader and I devoured it in less then four days. Chamber of Secrets was next. I instantly felt a connection with Hermione. She was bossy (like I was at that age) and smart! I really liked her and thought, if she'd been real, we could be best friends! I whizzed through Prisoner of Azkaban and loved it, cuz Hermione helped Harry out so much. Ron didn't annoy me or affect me at all. He was...there, I guess. I read Goblet of Fire when I was 10, I believe and the romantic implications of the Yule Ball just whizzed right over my head. I had a feeling that all was not right with Ron and Hermione however.

Order of the Phoenix was the AH-HA! moment for me. I realized that Harry had picked wrong when he'd selected Cho and went over the reasons why and who would be best for him. Hermione stuck out like a sore thumb, but it was also then that I started to really become obsessed with R/Hr. Harry and Hermione were friends right? They didn't fight like R/Hr did, they weren't all blushy around each other. they were pals. And even though i couldn't exactly understand that. (I've never had a guy for a friend before) I accepted it.

Half-Blood Prince made me so happy...I was smiling my mouth off the whole time. Heron that i was, I rejoiced with them. This was it. we were sailing!

But then...Goblet of Fire the movie came out and I was stymied. harry and Hermione...they were so friendly! They looked good together too. and Ron was just so MEAN in that one. I started to think...maybe Hermione deserved better then that red head boy.

I was a fence shipper for most of my 14th and 15th year, then around my 16th birthday I decided to leave the safety of my fence and throw my lot with the Harmonians! I visited emma-watson.net daily and just loved the people I met on there! R/Hr did nothing for me any more. the more I read the more I was convinced...Hermione and Harry were made MADE made for each other.

And it is what i believe to this day. I may have only been a Harmonian for exactly 3 and a half months, but I LOVE this ship more then I ever loved R/Hr and I will go down with it if it sinks!

HARMONY FOREVER!

and yeah I guess it kinda is my fault I'm Harmonian. I went and read all those fabulous essays and reread the books with new eyes...i couldn't help but BE a Harmonian after all that! hehe

aaaaand I guess sort of it's what i want too. I mean, if I was that close friends with a boy and then I started dating him...it'd just...feel right I guess. I always thought whatever relationship i was in should start with friendship first.

as a 31 year old i could care less what people think of my belief. i really want to believe in the love that they share. when i first started shipping was way back in 2001 so i was 27-28 after seeing the first movie and then reading the first book i knew that they were ment to be.

I'm 17 now and I was turned onto the Harry Potter books when my elementary library got the stock in when I was 11. Since I really didn't care about Harry Potter [thinking I would only read the one because I needed a book - I more or less had read all the novels in our library at that time], I put my name down on the wait list for PoA.

That's when Jo made me a Harmonian. I was more interested in how she portrayed their relationship then the actual plot [ ... of course now I love it because of Lupin/Sirius, but that's beside the point].

I'm the most ship-inclined out of my friends that read Harry Potter, and one sees H/Hr while the other sees R/Hr as well as H/G, while some can see H/Hr but have no preference. I've had intelligent conversations with my Harmony friend about our ship, while my Heron friend and I do not discuss ships because I always manage to shoot down all her arguements [but that could just be because she has no debating skills]. Interestingly enough, my Harmony friend has had one boyfriend and my Heron friend has had about numerous boyfriends simply because she likes dating - she more or less has a phobia of committement.

Thus, this enforces my love of Harmony. Why? Because someone who is afraid of anything with meaning behind a relationship doesn't like it. I know it's bad reasoning, but real-life experiences influence my preferences, especially since I've had a Ron/Hermione type relationship [according to their arguements anyways with the bickering and UST (well, making-out..I'm not entirely sure what they mean by their UST, )] and after that ended, well, I never want it to happen again.

And it doesn't help that I'm like a hardcore nerd in love with anything related to finding stuff people normally miss. Hence, Harmony because supposedly it's hidden and hard to find...

I too am 17 and I was 8 when SS came out. I did not read it at first, because I had no idea what it was, but thank god for my mom, who told me someone said I'd like the book, so I read it and was hooked. The struggles Harry went through over the next years, the friendships, the magic, I felt like a part of books, still do too.

Now don't get mad, but I can't say I saw H/Hr at all. Even after OotP. Dumb me huh? I didn't know people "shipped" or even cared about the relationships. It was in 2004, when I was poking around online for some information on the 6th book, and I clicked on a Portkey fanfic. I had NO CLUE what fanfic was, so naturally, I thought the story I was reading was a leaked copy of of the 6th book. As I read on, H/Hr appeared and I was like WHAT? See, I didn't like R/Hr but I figured it would happened, and I never even guessed H/G. I scrolled to the top of the page and saw the icon of Harry and Hermione. I started reading H/Hr fanfics, and soon got in to the fanart, now I have 5 H/Hr folders on my computer of nothing but pictures and icons.(I've become an art and icon thief, but don't worry, i don't use the icons others have made)

I then reread the books, and now I know it's Harry and Hermione. I can feel it. I can only say thanks to Portkey, because without this site, I'd probably still be clueless. I can now see every Harmony moment, every time they glance at each other, every time they think of each other, it's so natural for them. THANKS TO THOSE ON PORTKEY, YOU ARE THE SMARTEST BUNCH I'VE EVER MET.

I completely agree. I, too, have shipped H/Hr since I read the first book. I'm 20 but never truely been in love but I know what is and isn't realistic love. I've had relationships with guys that are very similar to Ron and Hermione's but there was no hidden love for me (some may have had a crush on me, I don't know for sure) I completely loathed them. One of these guys got arrested shortly after graduating, I was very happy about that.

On H/G besides Harry's all-of-a-sudden interest in Ginny. Is Ginny's renewed interest in Harry. I stumbled across this H/G icon and I couldn't disagree more with it.



Actually they do go away. My first real crush was when I was 12. I was head over heels for the guy but we never happened. Now, I very rarely think of him and when I do I have a feeling of indifference. Ginny had moved on but then got sucked back into her childish crush.

Everyone here is so true.

I am 17 and have been shipping H/Hr since I was ten. Even when I was at that age I was able to recognize a warm, open, trusting relationship.

My own life has reflected my love for H/Hr. I am not like many other people my age; all of my friends go from guy to guy and don't really think much about it. It just astounds me. They have a boyfriend, or a love interest, and then soon they have a new one. I almost wish I could be like that, what one would call a "normal" teenager. But I can't....I have the commitment skills of an in-love 35-year-old woman.

I have only had one boyfriend, we had been on and off for about three years. I really think I was in love with him (and might still be). But I am trying to get away from that because I know it is not a relationship based on what Harry and Hermione have...trust, honesty, friendship, and commitment.

This is quickly turning into a romantic therapy group hahah.

I love you guys.

Well, I'm 16 years old and have never had a "proper" or even close to a relationship with anybody.

Everyone in my "old" class have had atleast some experience with that but not me. Why? Well, I know this is going to sound weird and unbelivable but, I've never seen the logic of it.
Why waste time on relationships that's going to end in like a week or two? Better make friends!

I've not always been an H/Hr shipper. I've been an R/Hr and H/G shipper too, but that was before my logic side gave me a kick in the a** and I realized that H/Hr is the kind of realtionship that other people should look up too. Even me

Bolding mine.

I COMPLETELY agree Rayclash. That's EXACTLY my opinion on the subject and you took the words right out of my mouth. So, since I agree, I guess it's not weird and unbelievable anymore!

Like I've said, I'm 14 and I still haven't had a boyfriend, or a first kiss none the less. I know some of you have been saying, "14? That's aweful young isn't it?" But you have to understand that where I come from, kids starting "dating" (notice the quotations) in 4th and 5th grade. Obviously, it's not serious, and it doesn't last, but it puts more and more pressure on someone like me as the years go by to "hook up" with somebody. And frankly, I've never want to "hook up" with just anybody. With that said, it shows what a feat it is for me to remain a virgin to the dating world (I mean that as in I haven't had a boyfriend yet... just want to make sure that's clear ).

~Panther