Title: Stethoscopes & Nargles
Ship: Ron/Luna
Name/Pen Name: Crystal/InTheStars
Word Count: 1393
Theme #/Theme: 1/Muggle Confusion
Challenge Count: 1/7 finished

Content: PG
Spoilers: Books 1-5
Warnings: None.
Summary: Set after Ron’s first Quidditch match in OotP. Where did he go before coming back to the Gryffindor tower?


His Quidditch robes were heavy, clinging like a Permanent Sticking Charm to his damp skin.

With a sigh, he laid back on the hospital bed and flicked aside a lock of matted flaming red hair.

The warming charm on the stiff mattress did nothing to warm him through the drenched clothes adorning his body, or to alleviate the feeling of failure. I have never felt more horrible in my entire life, he thought miserably, studying the high ceiling.

I'm worth nothing, he continued, letting the insults fall into his mind like heavy thudding weights. An absolute and complete embarrassment.

Ron stripped off his hand guards carelessly, letting them drop to the floor. He rolled over to his side with a groan and muffled the sound into a pillow. Madame Pomfrey was making faint answering noises from her office, every once and awhile peeking out at him with a slight frown.

Surprisingly, she had acquiesced to his request without much explaining on his part, letting him lie down after complaining about a non-existent head cold. A non-existent head cold he just happened to contract after listening to a chorus of “Weasley is Our King” for an entire game in which he blocked a stunning zero Quaffles.

Harry and Hermione would probably be looking for him, worried about his absence, but all he wanted to do was lie here. Until he died, preferably.

“You look cold, you know,” a misty voice said from the door.

Startled, Ron turned over, uncomfortably aware of the wet outline of his body on the thin sheets. Luna Lovegood was staring with wide dreamy eyes at him, a large lion head tucked underneath her arm. She petted it gently and smiled.

Ron made a slight grimace, feeling a bit twitchy all of a sudden. If he wasn’t mistaken, Loony’s lion hat had just made a soft purring sound.

“Hi,” he greeted, checking to see if Madame Pomfrey had noticed her new patient. The dim light from her office was still shining, but he couldn’t see her through the small window.

“Hello,” she answered, walking forward towards him, as if he had just started the conversation. “What are you doing here, Ronald?” She asked, placing the head carefully on the neighboring bed, sitting primly next to it. “Gryffindor’s won and you look miserable. Are you all right?”

“I am not miserable,” he shot back defensively. Grumbling, he laid back down, folding his hands behind his head.

“You’re soaked, you know,” she mentioned again. “Colds are nasty buggers to attract,” she said, “it’s a surprise Muggles haven’t noticed them burrowing little villages in their noses.”

“Whatever,” he muttered, wishing she would go away. Why was she here, anyway? “Why are you here anyway?” He asked sharply, and not very kindly.

“I was taking a walk with Ingrid, here,” she said, patting the lion’s head again.

It made a small mewling sound and Ron stared at her with an incredulous look. “Ingrid?”

“Yes, I’ve named it Ingrid,” she said brightly.

He blinked and then shook his head, murmuring something that sounded like “nutters” under his breath. Luna only pushed blonde locks behind her ear and watched him closely, almost expectantly.

“Did you say something about nargles?”

“No,” he answered, starting to feel a little put off. He came up here to be alone in his misery, didn’t he? Being alone in a room with an annoying crazy loon was not what he had planned. “Hermione told me they don’t exist,” he added.

Luna turned her nose up at his best friend’s name, huffing and gripping a lock of lion hair. Ingrid growled. “Hermione Granger is wrong,” she said firmly. “They live in mistletoe.”

“That’s bloody interesting,” he said flatly, not interested at all.

“Oh, isn’t it?” She retorted; suddenly her voice was filled with excitement. “My dad says nargles are-”

“Listen, Loo- Luna,” he amended, sparing her a quick glance, “I don’t really feel like talking about nargles, all right?”

“Oh... okay,” she said, deflating a bit. For a moment there was blessed silence, but Ron could still feel her intent gaze on his cheek.

Tightening his jaw, he looked over and caught her wide eyes quickly. She smiled a very small smile and did not look away. “Stop staring at me,” he said, stomach turning over. A faint blush was decorating his cheeks and her lips quirked slightly.

“You’re nice to look at,” she said plainly, “and you’re very funny. I like you, Ronald Weasley, even if you were too nervous to block a Quaffle today.”

That faint blush turned red quickly, obscuring his freckles. He choked out an “oh” quickly and swallowed. “I’m usually- I’m usually better,” he stammered out, wondering why her confession made his heart speed up.

“I believe you,” she said, standing. She walked over to his side and Ron sat up in one jerky motion. She placed a hand over his pumping heart, exerting slight pressure. “No, it’s all right,” she said soothingly. “I was just going to dry your robes,” she said, pulling out a wry wand.

“Oh, well- oh, okay,” he said.

With a flick of her wrist and an incantation he was warm and dry again, but he felt like he was burning where Luna’s hand was resting. She liked him. Liked him how? Why did he care if she liked him... like that? Because she’s insane and you should probably get out of her sight, a sharp voice told him.

“Ronald, your heart is beating very fast.”

“What?” He asked.

“Your heart, it’s beating very fast,” she repeated, plopping down near his hip. “Would you like to hear it?”

“What?” He asked again, this time extremely confused.

She grinned two rows of small white teeth. “Accio scissors,” she said, guiding a pair of shiny metal blades into her palm.

“What’re those for?” He asked, voice squeaking unattractively.

She didn’t respond, only pointed at the object and muttered something in Latin; Ron didn’t understand the words for the life of him and fleetingly he made a commitment to study more, in light of his situation. Looney Lovegood sporting a pair of scissors wasn’t a comforting situation.

“What is that?” He said a moment later, staring at the transforming contraption in awe.

“A stethoscope,” she answered. It was metal like the scissors it had once been, with two rubber tips and a long tube with a grey glinting circle at the end. “Muggle doctors use it,” she said. “You can hear your heart beat with it,” she explained.

Without asking, she stuck the two rubber tips into his ears and pressed the other end to her chest.

A loud thumping reached his ears, steady and fast with her even breath. She smiled as he looked into her eyes in amazement. “Muggles use this?” He asked, disbelievingly. “It’s...”

“As good as magic,” she finished his sentence dreamily, sighing. The sound trembled all the way to his ears and Ron swallowed.

His heart felt like it was speeding up again- her hand reached for his chest and he felt the organ jump and then race away, pounding. Luna’s heart thudded in his ears, pulse quickening.

“Listen,” she said, trading her gentle hand for the cold stethoscope, slightly warmed by her skin.

He didn’t need to listen, however. He could feel it. “My dad- he would love this,” he said, pulling the rubber tips from his ears. “He loves Muggle things.”

“You can have it,” she said.

Ron couldn’t hep but smile, the expression a bit hesitant and unsure.

“Ingrid and I should get going,” she said then, raising.

Ron felt a little bit like he didn’t want her to leave, even if it meant she took her silly hat with her, but he squashed the feeling, clutching tightly at the stethoscope. “Thanks,” he said.

“You’re welcome, Ronald,” she said. Before he could react or realize, she was leaning in, thin soft lips brushing against his instantly flaming cheeks.

With a slow pace she picked up Ingrid, making her way to the door.

“Bye!” He called to her retreating form as she turned the corner, not looking back.

He scratched at the back of his wet head after a moment, trying not to be disappointed that she hadn’t spared him one last glance, fingers still curled around the odd Muggle contraption in his hands.

-fin-

I liked it alot!! Your portrayal of Luna was excellent, and it seems that Ron has more than a teaspoon range of emotion in the story. Denial isn't a river in Egypt.

Looking forward to reading your next story!!

Very good story! I just love canon-friendly stories when the characters seem to be taken straight off of JK's pages. I love Ron's reactions to Luna ... DH anyone?

My favorite part was:

Harry and Hermione would probably be looking for him, worried about his absence, but all he wanted to do was lie here. Until he died, preferably.

It actually made me laugh out loud.

The only bit that kind of made me pause was the "Accio scissors" bit. Even Luna's not crazy enough to have a pair of scissors flying at her, ha ha.

All-in-all, it was a good read!

Btavo--

a fan fic where I actually like Ron! And more than I like him in the book's too. His change of feelings is really realistic--and the stethoscope was brillaint--just brillaint

When you write your next story can you include Ingrid in the challenge, plleasse and maybe another mention of the stetoscope?

LOL that was so goofy and funny. At first, I was thinking the subject matter was too "kinky"-ish to be a good PG fic lol , but it turned out real cute.

"Harry and Hermione would probably be looking for him, worried about his absence, but all he wanted to do was lie here. Until he died, preferably."

HAHAHA, that was a very "subtle" HHr moment wasn't it?

I love how you captured Ron and Luna. They are just so in character and it makes me very happy because not a lot of people catch Luna's essence; they just make her talk about a lot of imaginary animals but I like how your Luna is like the real character, smart and distracted, mysterious even.



Also, do you have an author's account anywhere? I'd love to read any of your other fics!

I was wondering what she was going to dow/ the scissors. I thought she was going to maybe like...sorta magically cut out his heart or something (hahaha...I probably would've known from the title..but I'm clueless). I really thought that was cute.